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I caught my narcissistic boyfriend cheating again. I confron

jadesanz's picture
[10605]

I caught my narcissistic boyfriend cheating again. I confronted him an hour ago. We argued he denied it. I snapped and slapped him and he choked me. He has never been physical with me I'm in total shock and devastated I hate my life I dont deserve this

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NowImNarcFree's picture
[24985]
Aug 7

@jadesanz I'm sorry you had to deal with hurtful comments when you came here for support. This should not be a place for judgement. What you went through is terrible but you are you doing the right thing now and have a better future in front of you. A good therapist can be very helpful. I just started seeing one with experience with trauma and am starting to get to the point where I can imagine having a healthy relationship with a man again. I also second the idea of going to a women's domestic abuse organization. They have support groups and counseling where you can talk with people who understand and have been through very similar things.

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NowImNarcFree's picture
[24985]
Aug 7

@privateone The other thing that bothers me about this is that we all know how terrible abuse can be that is "just" emotional or psychological. The abuse didn't start with a slap. I think we all agree that any physical violence is bad in a relationship, but a slap from someone who is experiencing psychological torture from a narc, well, that is not where the abuse started. It did give him an excuse in his own warped mind to escalate it and feel justified, but he most certainly was NOT justified in his response.

The other thing that bothers me is that this happens a LOT to women, and she is not the only one who has snapped. Abusers will try to get us to that point. And I have heard of women with injuries from their abusers who were afraid to go to the police to document it because they pushed their abuser away or something similar that does not leave a mark and is mostly defensive in nature. No one is telling her, "yes, slap him!" that is a straw man of what we are saying and should have very little place in this discussion. We are trying to focus on the real issue that this relationship is toxic and you have to leave it in order to heal.

@Jadesanz you are very young and have been in this relationship for a long time. Use it to learn and grow, reach for support, find healthier people to fill your life with, and continue working on yourself. With time and work you will heal and you can use what you learned from this terrible situation to protect yourself in the future.

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[9335]
Aug 7

@Karinah thank you for sharing your opinion which I read with interest.

My opinion is as I previously stated "NO-ONE SHOULD EVER, EVER PUT THEIR HANDS ON ANOTHER PERSON IN VIOLENCE" - period!!

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