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I'm feeling really sad. I haven't eaten much in days. In in

I'm feeling really sad. I haven't eaten much in days. In in a pickle atm. My temp room is up and I haven't found anyone to rent from yet. I have no money and my ex just told me and told me he expects me to pay for half the mortgage. Or else..

I can't afford that. I'm sure he will sue me.

I made the mistake of being a little too honest to him when I asked for a divorce. I told him how I wasn't in love and over all knew I needed to leave for the sake of my happiness. If I stayed I'd be lieing to him. The hardest thing I've ever done in my life. And Idk, why I did that.

I had shut off for three weeks prior. I was afraid to say anything at all but he begged me to talk to him. I shouldn't have. Im dumb and nieve and thought he deserved to know the truth. It was a ploy. A ploy to be able to control me. He used everything I told him against me. Told me he has no empathy for me and that most people would kill me for what I told him. Some how I was a liar and didnt care about him. I never cheated, lied or intentionally hurt him but I am human. Geez.

Today, I feel like I'm the f up he had described. The selfish and horrible person that does nothing but lie. A failure. All because he didn't get what he wants- which was me. Its hard to explain but his words pull at me despite knowing I did what I needed.

I'm selfish and dumb I guess. My life is skrewed

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GirlKitty's picture
[63815]
Jul 12

@Dizzyjane I'm so sorry you're going through this. I think you're being too hard on yourself. I'm sure you're not dumb and I doubt you're naive. I don't think you're selfish, either.
We all say things we wish we hadn't. I've done that a lot this week, unfortunately. Don't beat yourself up.

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[795]
Jul 12

@Dizzyjane That sounds terrible and my sympathy is with you here. First, you have value and worth as a unique human being. Nobody can take that from you, unless you give it to them. Second, a narcissist will always blame you and will never accept responsibility. Don't expect him to try to make amends but do expect him to attempt to manipulate you further by alternating between sincere and caring and mean and ruthless. All of that will be to keep you off guard. Regarding your immediate situation, you may want to consult with a lawyer over your responsibilities and what you may be entitled to from your stbx. At least you will know where you stand so you can make a plan that, while painful, you can do. Always here to talk, and you have worth!

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GirlKitty's picture
[63815]
Jul 12

@Garlaqu Please do not post this again. It's against our policy. Thank you!

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