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I've been feeling really distant from all my friends lately

ThisIsMe998's picture

I've been feeling really distant from all my friends lately
Because of how my mind is just eating myself away.
I know I should go hangout but Im scared of breaking down and I'm honestly too tired to socialize for longer periods at this point
There's always close friends or general friends
But I can't rant and let my thoughts get out all the time so going out is pretty tough
I'm feeling kinda left out too, usually not in the groups. They do add me to their secret groups and they socialize with me
But maybe because of my mindset right now, I'm in so much pain but I have to put myself together
I feel distant(?)
I feel not myself but it's not their fault
I have friends who love me and I can talk to them whenever
but they all have their own lives too
at one point, my friend that i would ring up and cry attempted suicide 2 days ago
i couldnt even help him because he doesnt talk about it but im glad he's still here
but im saddened by how
he's been there for me but im too exhausted to be there for him and he knows
he knows even if he opened up, people come and go, there's no point either
kinda like me irl tbh
it's just sad
Lately, I've been just having small moments where I feel so pent up wanting to cry and when I do it usually doesnt last long
and I keep telling myself it's okayy
I could literally, still with a heavy heart, go crying for a bit and stopping and being less emotional and a bit more logical with myself
which honestly i find it so ridiculous and frustrating
I'm really trapped and tired... I really want to escape this mindset asap
I've been working non stop and gaming whenever I'm free
or jamming to songs
I kept occupying myself with a ton of things to get distracted but it's so overwhelming I feel so sad... :(
i feel like at this point... im kinda screaming inside
I'm tired of constantly upholding myself, reminding myself I have to help myself
I want help
I need it
I'm lowkey so desperate right now and so low... always hiding in my room away from my family and everyone because of how socially exhausted i am
i do socialize, but i have to constantly hide this side or me and everything i'm ranting here now
it's driving me insane...

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kathyrivers's picture
Jan 15

i knwo exactly how you feel . i struggle with pretty much the same thing. i'm here for you okay?

Jan 15

Hey there! I can't say that i know exactly how you feel because when it comes to "friends" part of my life I've been really lucky, none of them have been depressed and I've got many friends.

But working all the time and gaming... Wew! That's just me right there, i do that to distract myself from the things that bother my brain and sometimes they even manage to distract and make me sad in mid of a game or at my workplace. It's f##ed up.

About your friend try and get him to talk coz i swear if i never opened up, i would've ended it in March '19. So yea no matter how much he tried to keep it in, just try to comfort him and let it all out, he will hesitate and try to push you away may be.. but it feels so good to vent it out finally... Unless, then you develop a habit of doing it all the time and start being dependent on people to listen to you (that ends up pretty badly, coz like you said others have lives too and at some point they get frustrated)

I'm not gonna give much advice coz I'm not in your position so i don't know how tough it is for you ...also i remember, you once said "Sometimes people just got to listen, don't act like there has to be a solution to every problem" (not the exact words tbh but it made same sense afaik, when you last posted on sg years ago, oh sorry that's your profile description as well rn)...
So yeah... I'm sorry that you feel this way, here to listen to you anytime you want..

And umm...I forgot to introduce myself.. it's Aks :) long time no see ?

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