Hi I'm fifteen, and the last few months I have been a comple
Hi I'm fifteen, and the last few months I have been a complete wreck. I have problems. Depression. Loneliness. So so alone. Its damaging my school and my relationships. Its clouding my judgment. I have always have been the one to support and give. Now I'm alone. I feel like nobody thinks about me. I wish I had somebody to talk to. Each night I lay away miserably depressed. My friends say I am an empath and a little more soul than flesh. Because I feel other peoples suffering. I have enough pain myself but theirs gets added to mine. I spend most of my time alone because I can't stand being around people. All they do is bring pain. I feel depressed, lost, alone and angry. I hope that one day I will be there for someone like I wish there was for me right now. If I make it that long.
Believe me I have hobbies lol. I play in a band regularly, its kind of my thing. Not like a school band but an actual band. I am the youngest and we make decent money with it and it keeps me occupied usually.
But sometimes the depression or loneliness or anxiety just hits me; especially at night-times and I start thinking about all my problems.
I can't speak with a school counselor because I am homeschooled.
(Yes I'm homeschooled and yes I have friends, no I don't just stay at home all day, and no I am not a un-socialized nerd.)
Hey I'm here.
First off, you need to learn to like yourself. Once you learn to like yourself then you won't mind being by yourself. Next, you need to realize that you can NOT control anybody else but YOU ! It's not how others react to you, it is HOW YOU REACT TO OTHERS that is important. I know what you are going through because I spend most my life alone and I'm 47 years old. But, it don't bother me because I like myself enough to be with me. Also, it took me awhile but I finally learned that the only thing I can control is my reactions and not others. I believe that you are not ready to make new friends because I think that you believe that people don't like you, but you need to learn that you need to like yourself and to be yourself. Also, you need to WANT to be liked. Because, we work harder to get what we WANT than we do for things we need ! Also, if your friends are TRUE FRIENDS then they will stick with you if they don't then you don't need them as friends. I was teased and bullied in school so much, that one day when I was playing basketball with my friends they were teasing me but I didn't realize that they were just kidding. I broke down and started crying right there on the court, but since these were TRUE friends they comforted me and made me feel better. We are still friends to this day, The only friends you need are TRUE FRIENDS. So, I hope this helps. NEVER GIVE UP / NEVER GIVE IN !