I have no friends. I feel like I’ve always been ignored or


I have no friends. I feel like I’ve always been ignored or pushed to the side or taken advantage of, and I’ve become hurt to the point to where I don’t even try to make new friends anymore. It hurts a lot, I feel lonely but I don’t want to be hurt even more just being treated like I don’t matter or that I’m too much due to my depression. I’ve been feeling like I’m a burden to everyone, and I’ve been told that I am numerous times. I’ve been told how people don’t have the energy to deal with me, that I’m too sensitive, that I need to help myself, or I just get ignored while others get responded to. I don’t know, it just drives me deeper into a void that I can’t seem to get out of. I want to feel seen, I want to feel like I matter, that I have a place in this world, but I don’t.

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Littlesis7's picture
Sep 28

@MiniMeltdown07 this is interesting. Thanks for replying. I attempted 'meetup' but not sure if I was looking for too obscure of an area of interest or that my social-anxiety kicked in to steal away a lot of confidence, but I would have to begin again.
The volunteering sounds good but again, not sure if I have the inspiration enough to be interested in 'said activity'...don't really know what's going on but since the 2 -yr covid break, I've found it almost impossible to relate to anyone who isn't pretty depressed, facing issues or feeling broken. Most strangers are not going to talk about those subjects of course.
I've been around for a while and don't seem to fall into the 'correct groups' arrghhh.
After decades of attempting to find common ground -I just can't handle the bs of 'presenting yourself' to ppl. It's like, ok cut to reality please.
I know this is a pretty terrible attitude to have -it's bc my 'over-thinking mind just can't stop the fear of abandonment and rejection.
I shouldn't give up so maybe I'll try to figure out how to volunteer somewhere.

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@Littlesis7 When I tried Meetup, I went to a few singles mixers and met a now ex-BF at one of them- and I also did a few friends meet and greet at restaurants or outdoor areas- that was fun. Believe it or not, I was definitely able to open up about depression, self-esteem etc with my fellow volunteers after about a month- I'm an open book and am pretty candid about the ups/downs in life in a darkly funny way and so I find that if I'm forthcoming and laid back, people feel more comfortable in putting their own guards down and confiding in me. Maybe try that at volunteering when you feel more comfortable? Covid made a lot of people have trouble interacting- its the nature of the whole 6 feet apart stranger danger rules. My gym I go to still has plastic barriers up at the front desk and some people even still work out in masks- which is strange seeing a sweaty shirtless guy in a mask haha. I love your phrase "ok, cut to reality please" when interacting with new people- I so agree with that. So many people are putting up fronts in everyday life and I like to show my authentic, candid personality no holds barred through the good and bad- and you should too! Don't give up- you're worthy of friendship and start small with meetups, volunteering, Bumble BFF etc- and as cliche as it sounds- be yourself! I too trapped myself into a little cocoon during Covid and became very anxious and standoffish, but it's a lot more fun and rewarding to risk rejection/discomfort and make new friends than to hold other people at arm's length from the true gift of knowing you! I hope this helps!

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Oct 10

I see this is older, but I hope those feelings have gone since then. Personally, I found that I felt that way because I was trying to fit with the wrong people. In my journey, I've found maybe I don't have people, but it's okay because I like being by myself.

I hope you find your people.


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