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I still have one question about my life from time to time, a

invisiblesadperson's picture
[680]

I still have one question about my life from time to time, and that is "when will my loneliness end?"
It's still quite a big issue I've tried to brush off, easier said than done though. I'm in university now and I thought things would change I was extremely excited to meet new people, I imagined going out with these new friends every other weekend and just having fun, making new connections. I really enjoy meeting new people and I'm not as shy as I once was but still things remain the same. I did have a new group of friends but they dropped me with no explanation or closure at all no matter how many times I asked they said all was good but it ended anyway. I was a good thing as I came to learn that they weren't good for me anyways.
Now I've met others but nothing has really come out of it yet, I'm still alone and lonely hoping to find friends even though at this point I've just concluded that "loner" is just who I am people just don't like me, or maybe I push others away without even noticing, thinking I'm trying my best when it's the complete opposite. I really don't know anymore. I mean, I'm supposed to be having the time of my life instead I just sit at home or my student accommodation binging YouTube, I never go out. I deserve to have no friends I guess, even though I long for it (the company). I have people but I don't mean much to them always leaving me out of everything and whatnot. I would like to have a romantic relationship as well, I mean I even joined Tinder nothing has come out of it and at this point it's pretty useless, but I mean I promised myself I wouldn't join any dating apps whatsoever but I thought maybe I might find a friend there as well, but like I said pretty useless so far. I really sometimes feel like I'm gonna die alone, like maybe that's just my fate because I feel like I'm not asking for much, just a companion who I can hang out with, who genuinely cares about me and visa versa.
Is it really too much to ask for? Am I approaching this wrong? Do people just not like me? I guess loneliness is by my side now that I think about it, so hey at least there's something right?

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invisiblesadperson's picture
[680]
Jul 11

@Gone Fishing Once again, thank you for your very kid words.

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[345]
Jul 11

I hear you. I honestly believe that mine will never end until I cease to exist.

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[430]
Jul 11

Of course you deserve to have friends! And you're in a great environment at university to make those connections. Even though it hasn't worked out 100%, don't lost sight of the fact that you've already been in one group of friends and you still have people right now. So you're doing well at this, just not finding the right type of people yet.

As far as finding those people, maybe try seeking out people who look like "loners" themselves? In my experience at college, forming groups is a lot easier than joining them. Look for the people sitting alone, look for the people like you who have so much depth and personality, but just haven't been able to connect with anyone yet.

Turn the things that have hurt you into things that help you--be the friend who never leaves anyone out. Make people feel welcome and included and you'll be surprised how quickly your social circle grows. Maybe take that part of you that tries so hard to do well in groups of friends, and channel that into trying hard to reach out to other people who are feeling lonely and isolated.

Just some thoughts and ideas. You're doing way better than you think, and you sound like a really caring and interesting person. I'm sure there's some great friendships waiting just around the corner in your life.

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