Never posted, so here goes... I feel so incredibly lost and

Never posted, so here goes... I feel so incredibly lost and like I can’t do a **** thing right anymore. I work a full-time job, have two children and I’m married. I work and then pick the kids up from school and then I rush home to write my work reports, clean the house, help kids with homework and cook dinner. I do everything, even literally cleaning up after my husband because he can’t even throw trash in the can, or else I risk walking on eggshells. I’m so busy making sure everything is ok and everyone is happy, that by the time I take a deep breath, I realize I’m miserable. I moved three years ago, out of state and I cannot make friends to save my soul. I so desperately want to talk to my husband about my feelings, but it pisses him off if I’m not happy and he often makes me out to be a ‘crybaby’, if I’m upset over something. I have learned to keep everything inside and now I feel like I’m going to explode. I’m convinced my husband is bipolar because he will be happy and fine one day and the next, he’s treating me like utter **** and extremely angry. I want to talk to my parents about my life, but they have finally accepted the “change and effort” my husband has been making and they have a good relationship with him now and I don’t want what I have to say to change that... I’m living a complete lie and I hate it. Everyone makes comments about how proud they are of me and my husband and I just want to laugh in their faces; if they only knew it was all a show. I’m to the point where I can’t eat or sleep and I just want to give up. I just want someone to recognize all that I do and appreciate me for it. It’s hurts so **** bad to feel like you’re constantly failing everyone and I just can’t handle it anymore.

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Mar 6

Is your husband a vet? I swear it sounds like he is. Vietnam or whatever, with PTSD.

FreeWill2Go's picture
8 hours ago

@Altrusian That's a stereo-typical response. Not all vets are temperamental lazy bums with bad attitudes; maybe some of them during the Vietnam era when the glass ceiling existed, and when society dictated that many of the women in the U.S. were expected to take care of things at home, but times have changed a lot since then, and the roles have reversed. I'm an Afghanistan Vet, and I cook meals for my family on the weekends and holidays, attend all of the school functions and complete the registration, refill the water containers, do the laundry, and do some of the cleaning, plus taking care of the car and finances.

When my wife was overseas in her own country, all of the house work was on me to get it done, and I had no problems with doing it. I'm not alone either, there are other Vets who I worked with in the past, and two Vets who were my neighbors, who did all of the cooking, cleaning, and all of the house work. Those 2 neighbors were Vietnam Vets, one of whom had severe PTSD. I think it's a matter of the person's up bringing. I worked with some Vets in the past who were bad apples, but that doesn't mean that all Vets are grouchy couch potatoes.

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CKBlossom's picture
23 minutes ago

@FreeWill2Go You are so right, we can't pigeonhole anyone, nor should we want to. Everyone is different and our outcomes and how we deal with our pain is different. It sounds like you take your family very seriously and your love for them is very apparent. Hugs!


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