I feel lonely. After not talking to him anymore, I worried t

xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[5720]

I feel lonely. After not talking to him anymore, I worried that I would get weak again and want to talk to him.

I was right.

I hate that he doesn't send me messages even if I didn't ever message him back. I guess I liked the attention.
But even when people are giving me attention on Xbox, I feel disgusted with them. As if their feelings towards me are fake and only happening because their hormones are causing them to act that way or because they are excited that they found a girl gamer.

I feel like I can't feel anything for anyone after having permanently broken things off with my ex.

[[I need to clarify something for some people. My relationship was long distance. My ex and I met online through Xbox. The relationship was toxic. I loved him dearly, and I hate that this happened. The only real reason that I don't answer his texts when he sends them is because I'm trying to move on, and yet I get excited because I know he is still thinking about me like I am thinking about him. And I'm going through these stages that come with a break up. I miss his attention. Yes. It's not healthy. I'm trying to change that because I realize it's unhealthy. And I want his attention because he is the person I love and trying to let go of that is difficult. He was my first love...
Anyways, I'm sure I rambled enough. That's all.]]

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xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx's picture
[5720]
Oct 12

@Jmarley Please do not post garbage/spam.

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[3170]
Oct 13

@xXBeautifully-CorrodedXx If it's something you will think about, then my action of making you reflect back on your intentions succeeded. I knew this would not make you feel happy. However i am not your enemy, it was necessary to make your realize your own impact on the situation, yourself and on others. Nothing more then that. You are a smart girl (i looked up your profile) , unfortunately the severe issues that you have (which i noticed are very complex) are holding you back and wasting your potential. I feel truly sorry for what you are going through at this moment in your life. I wanted to suggest seeking the help of a psychologist , but it seems you are already visiting a therapist. So my advice is to keep seeking support in here.

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[85]
Oct 14

No one knows you better than yourself.....and your heart knows it desires.
Just toss a coin high enough close your eyes and the first thing that your heart wishes that it should be the outcome of the toss do that thing....forget the toss outcome.
If anything goes wrong atleast you will be satisfied that you have followed your desires and mind it that is not an easy task. And, if not there will be always a grudge deep down that " I wish I should've done that thing".

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