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I spent my weekend off doing exactly what I have done for p

Justtired1587's picture
[225]

I spent my weekend off doing exactly what I have done for past countless number of years...sleeping. I woke up long enough to go to the bathroom, eat a bite, and start a movie or a football game, only to end up falling asleep shortly thereafter. I have to be up for work at 4:30 a.m., and I am fighting back the tears of another weekend wasted of my life. I am sleeping my life away, due to my Narcolepsy. I am so lonely. I just wish that this could all go away. I am NOT suicidal. I have an elderly parent that depends heavily on me, and she would be crushed if anything happened to me. But, it would not be a bad day for me if my doctor told me that I had cancer and only had a short time to live. I have found myself being envious of people who have died, or just found out that they are dying. Sad, isn’t it? It will be another long and depressing drive in to work tomorrow, just as it always is. I have so much more to say , but I am tired, and just starting to ramble out thoughts right now. Sorry.

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Justtired1587's picture
[225]
Dec 2

I am not having suicidal thoughts, I promise. I do getting really stressed out and depressed, but that would certainly not be a way I would take. I am on medication, but it is not enough. It just makes me awake enough to function.
Thank you for kindness.

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[3970]
Dec 4

Justtired you might ask your doctor about a different medication or adjusting the dosage of your current one. It should do a little more than barely keep you awake.

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Justtired1587's picture
[225]
Dec 4

I appreciate your thoughts on that. I did ask, but she wanted me to give the med longer of a try at this dosage. I ended up firing her because she wasn’t listening to me.
This “disease” of narcolepsy has been my biggest issue in life to cope with, and all the other problems that have spun off from it. I didn’t know until about 1 1/2 yes ago that there was a diagnosis for my issues, and what it was called. Many doctors and tests were performed through the years.

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