Well I hope it's a good sign that I past 2 months since dday

John99's picture
(3070)

Well I hope it's a good sign that I past 2 months since dday and didn't notice. Nothing really has changed since last month's update. We start couples counseling this coming Wednesday. I don't have panic attacks everyday anymore. But still get several a week. Again I hope that's a good sign. But had 3 in the last 24 hours. That really sucked. Other then that if you have been reading my posts you know what is going on. Life just really sucks right now but I am still trying to live in the now. Hopefully June will be better.

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John99's picture
(3070)
Jun 12

@L00singitall

I don't know what to tell you. I can't figure my wife out either. It helped a little when she told me how can you figure me out when I can't figure myself out. To get that much took sooo many conversations.

I wish they understand when they don't explain what is going on in there heads it makes things so much worse for us. We need information to heal and they have it yet they don't want to share it. We just have to be patient no matter how infuriating it is. That information will eventually come out it just takes time. Sadly until it comes out there will be a lot of pain and grief. The only way to avoid it is to walk away. For either of us that is not an option.

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DearPeace's picture
(1505)
Jun 12

@John99 from what I was told you'll never get what you hope for. Understanding, closer, or help with healing. If it's to much too loose or let go of, you'll have to take it for yourself within the situation. Being Civil, but accepting it is what it is. Trusting God to work on oneself. Lead by example and walk in integrity. That's powerful and puts anything else to shame. God sees everything. Believe that!

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L00singitall's picture
(1140)
Jun 14

@DearPeace I'm starting to realize that I'll never get what I hope for. I wish I could have the faith you do, I really do. But at this point all my hope and faith has been taken away from me. I can't let myself be hopeful anymore it's too painful to be crushed over and over again.

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