In 3 days, it will be 10 years since I discovered my wife's

In 3 days, it will be 10 years since I discovered my wife's affair with a close co-worker and friend, that nearly destroyed our family. There have been very few days since that I have not thought of the horrible truths I learned 10 years ago, and there remain so many triggers that can bring down a little when things are good, or nearly destroy me all over again when things are bad.
We are both pretty miserable, and with winter looming, I am not sure how I am going to get through several months of bad times with so few options due to near lockdown conditions.
Is there an end to these triggers (names, places, past co-workers, certain songs on the radio are some of them) or strategies to help? I have been free of medication for depression for several years, but am seriously wondering if I need to try it again. Thoughts of having little reason to continue have been more common again, and while I don't believe I could act on them due to my kids, they certainly don't help pass the time.

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(2145)
Jan 8

Just testing... message posts don't seem to work since the site update...

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@sgw67 yes I had responded to your last message like 3 different times, so maybe they will all come thru at once

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(2145)
Jan 9

@jamiemaddrox2020 Looks like the only way is to start a new message, replies to old messages before the site update don't work...

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