fears confirmed

he left. long story short, he's gone... and I have never hurt so much in my life. I don't know how to function right now or find something to live for.
everyone keeps telling me that if he couldn't stay he doesn't love me. I don't know what to believe.. all I do know is that he is still there telling me he loves me and is just a much a wreck as I am.
I don't understand what I ever did to deserve this. for something I have more than likely had 27 years, never impacted my daily life and now he can't see past the preventative options, or the fact that he hasn't gotten it in the last 6 months he has been exposed.
I don't want to be in this world without him

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Sep 21, 2013

Yes I agree with everyone..I was afraid to tell my guy ...when I did of course he had the reaction that was expected..he fussed and everything then he was like let me call you back..out felt like forever but he called me back and was like so we going to see this movie when it come out at the end of the month? I was like huh? He was like yeah, I'm pissed off and got all thus stuff running thru my head but I love you and I'm not going anywhere and I'm going to hold your hand thru all of this..and he just got his results back and he is negative and I asked him since he's negative do he feel differently about having sex with me now...he said no...he still isn't leaving me...maybe I'm lucky or maybe he's crazy but I'm glad I have him for the moment...so honey if he can't be understanding and be by your side he isn't for you...a person will always find out how much a person love them thru difficult and life changing times..

Sep 21, 2013

I have no idea what you're going through right now, and I can't even imagine how much it hurts. But I wholeheartedly agree with what everyone else has said; if he truly loved you like you deserved to be loved, he would have stayed and supported and cared for you. Hang on to the people who stay and surround you with unconditional love and support. Surround yourself with these people, and slowly, very slowly, the hurt will ease with time. Even though it hurts now, because he is gone, you're one step closer to finding someone who will love you as absolutely and entirely as you deserve to be. Hang on to the people who will love you no matter what.

Sep 24, 2013

thank you all. it's been a tough journey and its only beginning. I just hope that it will all turn out the way it's meant to in order to be happy. we do so much to make our lives great for ourselves and others and I feel I'm being punished for something that isn't my fault. I'm already a shy conservative person and this makes it even harder. afraid to even consider dating because everyone else may have the same reaction. just another reason to need a shrink


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