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I'm not in a good place in so many ways. I had to ask my nar

Living4Peace's picture
[37990]

I'm not in a good place in so many ways. I had to ask my narc mother for help paying the rent to keep my daughter and I off the streets. She ofcourse doesn't care, but will gladly use this as leverage over me. To make me feel like more of a failure, as always. I hate that I had no other choice but to turn to her. This is bringing up soooo many childhood/lifelong issues with her. My sister was always the favorite(she's just like my mom, fake and manipulative), I was always the black sheep no matter what I did or didn't do, my sister was (according to the narc mom) going to college, going to marry a nice upscale man, have a good house, etc.. Not me, in her eyes I was trash to begin with. I've been told my whole life by my narc dad that she wanted an abortion with me, and she spent my life proving she never wanted me. This is one of the biggest issues I find myself routinely battling with. She doesn't even recognize my daughter as someone who exists, by my sister? Oh the narc mom has TONS of pictures of my sisters daughter all over. Not even one of my daughter. This was the deal breaker for me. When she started treating my daughter like dirt, "the wheels started spinning" I guess and I started reaching out here to try and understand her, come to find out she's been a narc the whole time. Just getting worse as she's getting older. I have no one, again, like always, and am at the end of the line. My daughter is on the autism spectrum(I strongly suspect, we don't have insurance because I have to evidence that her father was dangerous, so the state says we don't qualify for help. Her father had aspergers syndrome, and my daughter has been showing all the signs since 14 months, but hasn't been officially diagnosed yet) so public school would be a nightmare for both of us, which leaves me stuck at home trying to find work online. It isn't going well so far and if something doesn't change soon, we're going to be on the streets and will likely end up separated by the state. I've been living in this nightmare for almost 5 years... Things need to change or my heart is going to give out. My hair went white over the last year and a half. I need a normal life. I can't keep living a constant war just to survive.

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Living4Peace's picture
[37980]
Nov 12

@LollyNews How do you get into being a demonstrator? That does sound like fun. Being a caretaker actually runs in the family and is something I'd love to do, I'm just not sure if it would be a good idea, or "allowed" to bring my daughter with me. My gramma, aunt, and mom were all caretakers. People I worked with in the past always said I'm really good with older folks. It seems to be genetic, lol. Plus my gramma was BIG on teaching respect for your elders.

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LollyNews's picture
[48650]
Nov 12

@Living4Peace I first found it through a temp service that sent me out to Sam’s grocery store. Then when I came back to Texas I went to our most popular store H-E-B and applied there. So I’d say the easiest way to start is to go to your closest grocery store and ask them if they’re hiring for demonstrators.
Indeed.com is a way to sign up for different types of jobs. They will email you all the options that fit the resume you fill out and interest you inquire about.

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Living4Peace's picture
[37980]
Nov 12

@LollyNews Oh ok. I'll set up a profile. I just heard that they do assessment tests to show employers proof of your different skills too. That might be helpful in the long run. I just found out I type faster than I thought, lol.

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