I only left the house for 2 hours, but honestly just being a
Blueberries1234
Blueberries1234
[65620]
Focused on building the new rather than fighting the old. …
(65620)
I only left the house for 2 hours, but honestly just being around people who were busy working made a big difference, to motivate me to work on my resume and it brightened my mood. One thing I realized though, is that I CANNOT listen to the music they play on the radio and stuff. It makes me extremely emotional and derails me completely. Going to have to bring headphones from now on and listen to Erik Satie and Debussy XD That stuff helps me focus! But it was worth it to not be at home crying, feeling alone, thats for sure. It isn't too hot yet, so it's the best time to still wear a jacket and not be body conscious. I need to make the most of this week to set my resume and portfolio up. Once I have a job, then I can buy some work clothes. I need to eat well, that's all, and maybe I can even do well in the furniture prototyping design course. Im afraid I wont be strong enough to do it with fibromyalgia. But when I took metalshop, I felt it made me stronger tbh. So I should try. Take it one day at a time, and keep trying. My friend literally gave me her workout bike when she left, I was shocked... she also gave me a beautiful book case and a minifridge. Yeah. Amazing of her. And she told me she's my friend forever, but a part of me felt like "I know how this will end" lol I'm extremely jaded, and it's whn I meet someone so nice like her, that I become extremely self aware of my neediness. Anyway back to the bike, I walk everywhere already, but I think the bike will help me build some core strength and leg strength which I really need. I think my spine is tilted with scoleosis and hips slightly rotated bc of carrying bags around on shoulder. So the bike may help. Also Im starting to think J have adhd, but maybe it's just cptsd. Like difficulty focusing, with sounds and people moving around in my visual field. But also when Im happy, I love to relax and tell stories but they usually flow all over the place if ai can let them. I like it that way though. One person, kept trying to diagnose me with multiple stuff when I told him i just have regular trauma. So I'm a bit defensive about it all, and I just figure he's not very creative. In fact, I thought he might have a touch of OCD or maybe a lot of it. Thats ehy he was trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me, and for a while made me his project. My life is so weird, and I just want to spill my guts. I dont have anyone to tell my story to anyone. so Im telling it to everyone and no one. Because who cares.
18
View 15 More Comments
Blueberries1234
Blueberries1234
[65620]
Focused on building the new rather than fighting the old. …
(65620)
May 24
@starship goats are way cuter as babies, but sheep make wool and apparently eat popcorn :P But goats give milk and you can make soap. So I think it depends if you like knitting, or soap molds hahahah Textiles or sculpture? HUH?! :p
Blueberries1234
Blueberries1234
[65620]
Focused on building the new rather than fighting the old. …
(65620)
May 24
@Littlesis7 oh no worries, I dont expect replies so you're never late hahha Also finding a residence is more important, were you able to find something decent? I feel like it's important to not give up hope, I recently heard of marketplace on facebook and realized THAT is the new plaxe people advertise places, not jusr kijiji or craigslist or the renting sites. It's usually worth a try. And I can relate to what you said about giving up on therapists. But it really is the luck of the draw, you can get quite a few that are just absolutely useless and there to "listen". Others help us a bit and we realize it later. Then, there are the truly exceptional ones who give you hope, tell you exactly what you wish someone had told you long ago and saved you years of suffering. So it depends. I think it's super important to have the right fit before wasting money on them, absolutely. My favorite channel currently is Patrick Teagan LSW, and also Dr.Saad on "Vital Mind Coaching". Both are cptsd professionals. One is cptsd licensed social worker great for childhood trauma links, ans dr. saad is clinical psychologist and really outlines exactly the core pathologies including, ibcredibly the diet we as empaths have and the specific nutrients we lack.
Littlesis7
Littlesis7
[28555]
I love music, sunsets, northwoods w/ lakes, horses, learning about wonderful humans with whom I shar…
(28555)
May 25
@Blueberries1234 Hi & thanks for replying. Yes, found a place. Now it's like I can't leave this current one fast enough lol. I know my adhd causes boredom, impatience, need for constant renewal visually.
Ha, yes I had discovered too late that fb marketplc listed local stuff at better $$ levels. I had already invested in the new place...gahhhh. I am doing a lot of this move alone and that sux. I 'know' I can get myself together to do it but holy sh*t it's like trying to run thru MUD to motivate the energy. I'm telling my brain ''just get thru this ONE gigantic event and you can lay low to recover a bit!
Oh wow, can't believe you also found Patrick Teagan as well -LOVE his channel. Love his authenticity as well as his collegue: Anna R. ''Crappy Childhood Fairy''.
Don't let the silly name fool you. She is like the genuine 'big sister' I NEED rt now and she seems incredibly humble (don't know how she survived her childhood-she almost didn't). I'm so grateful to have found her and even tho she is not an official ''profess therapist'' -her life experience and recovery has given her wisdom to
share with all of us. Her videos are super direct, concise, articulate and address so many things I didn't realize I was 'coping with' so poorly.
I am so wishing I had ALL the money back that I spent on therapists who actually did me no good and were still in bad mental health state 'themselves!!'
I still think going to them is prob better than not doing 'anything' but....research, educate, research again!
I don't think my partner understands this very 'round about' way I've taken to get to Recovery...it's literally taken me decades to even FEEL emotion and hope again so I'm proud of myself for surviving and thinking I might be able to 'kind of enjoy life a bit' again...
Thank you BBerry for recom Dr Saad. I just looked it up & encouraged to chk it out!
When Addiction Takes Control.
Learn to Take it Back!
Call the 24Hr Addiction Hotline.
800-910-6974
Who Answers?
Where do calls go?
Calls to numbers on a specific treatment center listing will be routed to that treatment center. Additional calls will also be forwarded and returned by a quality treatment center within the USA.
Calls to any general helpline (non-facility specific 1-8XX numbers) for your visit will be answered by a licensed drug and alcohol rehab facility, a paid advertiser on SupportGroups.com.
All calls are private and confidential.
