I have recently blocked all of my baby daddy's family due to

I have recently blocked all of my baby daddy's family due to them being toxic and trying to get him to leave me and take our son but also not wanting anything to do with our son because they don't like me. I never realized how hated I truly was until blocking them caused me to be blocked by people I thought were my friends but turns out they were just playing messenger and telling his family things I wasn't telling them. I haven't talked to anyone since May 1st... We aren't together but the father of my child is still living in my apartment, paying the rent, and purchasing everything our son needs while I try to find a job. I'm 110% okay with this, not because he's still making sure we're both taken care of but because I know our son will be safe while I work once I do get a job because I'm too scared to trust anyone else with him because of my own trauma. I've given him the bedroom and I sleep on a futon in my toddler's room. We spend the day down stairs with our son but then go our separate ways when he's napping or down for the night. We get along better now that we're just co-parenting but we do have a few major issues. He doesn't cook or clean... I know we said we "spend-time together" but the reality is, we're all in the down-stairs area... I'm usually cleaning or playing with our son while he's playing video games. I can ask him for help and it's like I'm committing a war crime. I started cleaning my toddler's bedroom and asked him to take out 2 bags of trash and he absolutely lost it. We spent 30 minutes arguing because of that and on top all that, he still didn't take the trash out but he is still mad that I was cleaning while he was playing xbox to "make him feel bad for being lazy"... Our son has to have occupational therapy, he goes to one program in office and another program is in home. All four times we've has in-home sessions, he's stayed in his room sleeping. He's went to 2 of 3 in-office sessions but has complained the whole time... He hasn't been to any of his appointments since he was brought home from the NICU. He complains about changing diapers and making bottles and he absolutely refuses to bathe or feed him. My reason for sharing all this is just to get it off my chest I guess.... It just upsets me because I try to everything I can by myself but then get in trouble for cleaning and making sure they are taken care of. I feel like I'm neglecting my son because I feel the chores are never done (I rarely ever notice a progress with anything) but if I neglect my chores and focus on my son, I'm lazy and need to stop giving into my sons need for attention... It's a battle that can't be won, I swear.

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May 19

@NCMom My child does not speak and he will not be left with anyone but his father until he can.

May 19

@FrostedRaven23. Well I wouldn’t count on the dad watching him very well if he’s playing video games…. When will he be able to speak well enough? Daycare is great socialization and helps children in many ways…. When my daughters were young I would rather have had them in daycare where they might be a little neglected (but lots of adults there!!) as opposed to putting them with some in-home caregiver for the exact reasons you probably have. It’s hard to trust someone with a non verbal or pre verbal child.

May 20

@NCMom Where I live, I wouldn't trust the schools/daycares to watch a dead goldfish.


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