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*** trigger warning *** Im trying and trying to express how

*** trigger warning ***
Im trying and trying to express how i feel but i just dont know what to say . Has anyone ever been so sad that they just shut down ? So sad that one wishes the floor would open and you would sink right into it never to be seen again ? Hoping all the pain would stop . Maybe everybody would be happy if i am not there because all i seem to be doing is hurting people . Well i guess i feel that way . I just want to disappear somewhere. Go so far away never to be found again . I cant even cry . Why cant i cry ? Im sitting here all numb . I dont feel any pain . I ran away only to be brought back with fake hopes and promises. I see no way out other then death . Would that solve the problem ? Being slapped multiple times by your parents it feels like being stabbed over and over and over and over by someone you trust . Someone you cherish. Maybe it was my mistake . Maybe i was born to be treated like this . I keep being told things will get better yet they never do . Stand up for yourself yet no one stands beside me when i do . I dont hate myself but i dont love myself either . I guess i despise myself . Confusing right well i guess im as confused as everyone . Sitting here on the floor thinking what to write and even at this i am failing . I want to die .

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[275]
Jun 13

@j2415p44 thank you

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Cw1's picture
[17600]
Jun 13

@Aly-01 I obviously don't know your situation but if you've had the conversation with your parents before is there something you are trying to get out of it with a second conversation? I guess in my life I've had to decide if a conversation with someone toxic will be worth it. What do I expect to get out of it. Can the person even have the discussion. Not sure if this applies or not.

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[155]
Jun 13

@Aly-01 Please do :)

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