Hello, feeling down tonight it's my birthday today, first on

(150)

Hello, feeling down tonight it's my birthday today, first one in 15 years that I wasn't looking forward to. My soon to be ex wife had told me last month that she didnt plan to celebrate the day with me. She went out on a date with her new friend this past Friday night while I stayed home with the kids. It was such a strange feeling to know my wife was out with another man. Any way back to the birthday, she told me Saturday morning that out oldest had pressured her to buy me a gift and a cake. So come this morning she has them wake me up to present me with a gift and cake. I thought perhaps this day would go alright. She spent time in the same room as me but did not engage me or the kids throughout the day. It was very difficult to sit near her and yet feel so distant. And of course as a parent it's tough to handle 3 kids by yourself when mom is 5 ft away. Nothing terrible happened today, yet it was such a crappy day for me. I am fearful of living alone in a few months, and also ready to have some peace. As I am typing this i have a knot in my chest, just praying I can accept what is happening and grieve/ move forward. I feel ashamed to say I still hope this has been a nightmare and will wake up to find my wife next to me in bed, but so far it hasn't happened.

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Bellabb's picture
(545)
Jan 12

Birthday wishes and hugs to you today.

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(150)
Jan 12

@[email protected]_1 Hello, I have some faith driven friends that I am accountable to during this time. I am interested in attending church for the fellowship, but haven't been able to because of Covid, I appreciate that advice. I wish I could some how flip a mental or heart switch and just not be hung up on her anymore. She, by all appearances has been doing a good job of moving on. I want to be angry with her but my better judgement says that's nothing but a distraction right now. I am doing what I can to be focused on the kids and my grieving the marriage in as healthy a way as possible.

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Foundlove's picture
(34760)
Jan 12

Aww I’m sorry your birthday isn’t going as good as you would like it to.. I hope you manage to enjoy despite all these changes going on in your marriage. Happy birthday n I hope things work out for best for you!

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