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Just sharing to get my thoughts out to an audience that migh

Just sharing to get my thoughts out to an audience that might understand. Meeting with my lawyer on Thursday to draft the response to the divorce filing. She finally (3 months after the threat) got around to it. I just had a job interview that didn't feel right (interviewer wanted techinical answers, but I don't feel confident in the advanced degree answers enough).

The divorce really blew up the apple cart, not just tipped it over. I got the request for documentation from my lawyer and realized that many of the items my STBXW has already (or is responsible for). I have to get my lawyer to do the same to her, just to make sure she didn't burn me. Just feels like the lawyers and her are going through the motions. NO one is really making this mess work out.

I also found evidence that she is having an investigator dig through my online life. I have not lied to her and I don't have anything to hide, but the disconnect from the "who she was" to "who she is" is really jarring. I don't know if she can be trusted with anything, but because she even lies to herself.

My family is supportive, but tired of the strain right now. I don't have a large network for friends to talk with, but I really don't have male friends who have been through a divorce. So I feel isolated even more. Just feeling like the load is heavy, and no one can help me shift it. God, this sounds so whiny...

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Ellen4550's picture
[24895]
Dec 2

We accept whiners...in fact we all were one at one point in this crazy crap we are going through so no worries. Hang in there..lots of support here for you..pull up a chair and get comfy! So sorry you are going through this..we will help in any way we can.

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[286015]
Dec 2

I wonder if it's possible her lawyer is doing that online investigation and it may not have even been her idea, or maybe the security clearance for the new job.

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Seltzer's picture
[455]
Dec 3

When you are going through this kind of crisis, the last thing you want is to be isolated. I have been helped by people from churches so many times. Consider going to a church and see if the people are friendly. Try one that is a bit of a distance from your place, so you have lesser possibility of someone knowing your wife. Churches vary, some are very welcoming while others are not so. I used to avoid churches because of the bad things I have heard. The good things? I had to experience first hand. Many of them are normal like us, with problems, but down to earth and friendly. They pray for each other, and help one another. And they have supported me in my tough times. We are not designed to be isolated, so I encourage you to try it out.

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