Newest Blog is out, Silence is Golden!!! A part 2 from last week's topic!
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Does anyone ever feel the need to hide your kindness in orde

Does anyone ever feel the need to hide your kindness in order to get respect. Sometimes I just feel like a pushover for the way I allow myself to get hurt. Each time, there's a part of me that fades and feels the need to not connect with anyone. It's almost like I set myself up for failure or disappointment. When I'm feeling hurt, I tend to build this wall inside of me to not allow anyone in. I don't want to be this way, it's not who I am. It's like I have this little boy inside of me that wants to come out and play and laugh and just enjoy life, but every time he comes out, he gets buried back in this dark hole once more. I'm tired of hurting and feeling rejected for who I am. When I meet someone special I just feel so intense with happiness, I don't realize to protect myself in case of disappointment or hurt. So when it happens, I feel like a complete f**k up. I was with someone for 17 years, until it finally ended with getting cheated on. Even though it hurt, there was still part of me that was still there at the beginning of the separation. I met a woman soon after, and everything was fine, but she just found it hard to believe I've been cheated on because I was so kind. This led her to check up on me all the time, wanting to see my phone and even my inbox. At first I was fine with it, but then it became frustrating. I wanted her to believe me. What do you do as a man when a woman doesn't believe you? Should I remain honest or just change up my story? I'm very confused as to what I should do because I want to be in a couple. I have achieved everything I wanted, but there is just this blank space that wants to be filled so bad that I'd trade everything just to have it. I'm so lost. It's almost I'm looking at someone else that has taking over me and doing a heck of a good job tearing me apart. It's almost like a movie.

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PatMill's picture
[2350]
Mar 14

@Leigh76 Like Irish said, we are not alone. Just knowing that brings us closer in a way to feel somewhat normal. Be strong Leigh. I care :)

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PatMill's picture
[2350]
Mar 14

Thanks for all your support everyone. It means a lot to me. I'm feeling better tonight, and hope all of you do too. Hang in there guys, we got this!

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Leigh76's picture
[885]
Mar 14

@PatMill
Thank you so much.

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