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My husband went off on me yesterday... I was rocking the bab

cjb25's picture
[1855]

My husband went off on me yesterday... I was rocking the baby to sleep so I could get ready for work and he just comes in there and starts going off on me because he can't find the keys. I told him he was the last one to have them and he said it didn't matter that I needed to keep up with them. Like even though HE lost them it's MY fault because I didn't keep up with them. Then he demands I put the baby down and help him or he'll quit his job and never work again. So I try to help him and he starts accusing me of hiding them on purpose just to stress him out. Then guess where he finds them? In HIS pants pocket where HE left them.
I tried talking to him about his behavior last night. And of course he tried turning it around on me. I brought up how he always blames me for everything he does wrong and he said that if I was in subjection to him like I need to be then he wouldn't have any problems so it is my fault. I tried telling him about how his behavior is abusive and how it hurts me and he said I was the one being abusive by telling him how bad a husband he is.
I can't handle this anymore. He refuses to acknowledge his behavior as abusive and he won't get help. I tried getting him to take medicine or go to coinciding with me but he won't because he doesn't believe in getting help from anyone who's not in their religion. And yes I've been down that road too and they all side with him saying I'm the one with the problem and that his anger and abusive tendencies would go away if I was in subjection to him or if I was in their religion.
I started getting angry and I said things against his religion and I shouldn't have done that but it was just too much. I wanted to try to fix this and its standing in the way. And he tries to say I'll be doing him wrong if I leave because he can't remarry till I die. I told him it was his own choice. He said there is no choice and that he is living by the bible.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to live like this. But I can't just cut him out and not care how he feels... That's not who I am. I do care, that's the whole reason I came back after we separated because his mother told me how lonely and miserable he was... This is so hard

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cjb25's picture
[1855]
Feb 15

@1emptysoul and they say they follow the KJV bible, but they also have their own teachings.

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cjb25's picture
[1855]
Feb 15

@Sparkle21 exactly! He can be so good to me. He can be a great dad (when he isn't stuck in his video games) and he can be a wonderful friend when I need him... But I also struggle with depression and when he has his outbursts and goes off on me I can't handle it. It makes me want to harm myself and I don't need that.
This relationship is unhealthy, even he said so himself. He won't get help and his behavior is hurting me. So I have to go. Its hard but I can do this.

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Jayne.Benette's picture
[2935]
Feb 15

Other than the baby and the religion - You are living the same life I am. Abused are often told they are the abuser. Don't believe his lies. I know how it feels when you're trying to help and all he can do is scream some form of "why aren't you helping me?!!". Help yourself and your baby. You do not deserve this. I love the man I'm with too, but they're not really men. They are boys in men's clothing. A man doesn't treat people that way. No matter how wonderful of a Dad he is, your child will see that this is an acceptable way to treat women or be treated by men. Do not give him the chance to teach them that.

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