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This might be a long post so let me get some attention by s

[670]

This might be a long post so let me get some attention by saying the most interesting (amusing from society's point of view) thing about me - "I HAVE A MICROPENIS (or close to it)"

I didn't know what groups to select. Am not sex-addict that's for sure, am just porn addict. (Been using reddit for a while, so that would've been a line where trolls could jump up with "that's obvious" comments)

I've been porn addict since 14 and used to watch normal stuff, no fetish. After 6 years I somehow noticed that I was rather too small compared to those porn ones and.... well not just porn ones, even compared to normal ones (coz i used to watch amateur and and all as well and of course then I checked on internet )
The reason I didn't come to know earlier was probably coz : I live in a country where sex is not talked about, except for the double meaning jokes.. nope. Most people don't have sex in teenage here, many have it after the marriage for the first time, our media doesn't "body shame" someone running for presidential elections and at least a candidate doesn't talk about junk size of opponent to show that he is less capable to be president (Well.. hello Americans :) )

And secondly coz growing up... I was extremely jealous of girls coz of all the extra attention and care they used to get from teachers and looking at guys being crazy for them, buying them stuff and sh#t, one of the biggest regrets of my life would be getting born as a male, right next to being born as a male with micropenis followed by - doing so in India and that too in general caste (Indians would understand)

So.... the issue is: Once I came to know about size (PS: I didn't knwo about the whole rejections/beta male/cuckoldry/sph... nothing yet) the next month was awful, Even if relationships always cringed me and I was all for games and books, it was the last semester of college and probably the first time I thought about may be ... talking to a girl... but right before that I learnt about this and I spent next experience what people called "Depression", thinking about how the person I love won't be happy.

Ok, let's skip some rant and come to the part I discovered shaming, cuckoldry, SPH fetish, standards in society, groups where girls made fun of guys who don't meet those standards... well let's just get rid ofthe word 'groups' and call it "social media" in general and how it was all seen as "just a joke", "preference" or "not meant that way".
Then I came to know about all the double standards and I basically became a SJW on reddit.

So..............here is something i need to say : Having a small organ in pants suck, even when you are not shamed, just the thought of no one feeling that level of lust/love for you or crave for your body specially when you grew up watching vanilla porn for 6 years. It destroyed me completely. I've been a very confident guy at school as i excelled in academics and was overall good at everything. But the moment I learnt about all that.... it just destroyed me.
Then i came to know about how small penis is used as an insult, as a symbol of shame and how nobody gives a f##k about it if a man complains coz if he does that, he is declared to be one of those small ones and then mocked/bullied even more.
Amazing thing is mass media accepts it too: References ?
RTA Pinkie campaign - defended by "not meant that way"
No short **** men - defended by "men do it too", but how is it relevant to me complaining about my body being used as a symbol of shame there ?
Trump's idol and women pointing and laughing at it.....
In short.... totally acceptable to do it..........coz who is going to oppose huh? Do they want to commit "socail suicide" by admitting they are small?

Now imagine a brain swinging between feeling extremely sad coz I wouldn't be able to ever experience sex like normal people do and filled with rage looking at the double standards in body shaming and how every attempt to talk about it just gets you mocked, called insecure , crybaby or an incel.

That's where I've been living for past 14 months now. Impact? It destroyed my confidence, will to be successful in career (for what huh?), interest in computer programming and learning new things and the latest one "video games", yep! strong enough to depart me from my first love.

Now.... as I'm addict I started watching SPH and cuck porn and somehow it gets me off (any porn gets me off) coz I can't watch normal porn any more, it was after learning about everything that i started noticing the excessive use of term "Big" in porn. And do i want to be a cuck ? hell no! Do those make porn make me mad or cry... a lot of times they do (again this is something people tend to enjoy right, guy crying yayyyy!!!!).

Contemplated suicide? every other day, somethings stops me: The beings that created me. They are the loveliest parent a child can get (most Indian parents are like that i guess.... I dunno, but am privileged to have such great parents)

I honestly have lost every last bit of interest in things. I'm stuck , I hate my body, I hate the things I do, I hate that I watch weird porn, I hate that I'm a guy, I hate that I live in current generation where a so called "beta male" is disposable. Where his feelings are just jokes while if a good looking human gets a scratch on their body and it becomes a big deal.

Btw here is something I want to tell y'all about those who think cuck and SPH are fetish: its an "acquired" one and it's not something "Most" of them want, I can tell coz I've been to their communities and almost every other post is "I wish.............. haha" everyone except the outer world knows how fake that haha is.......and if you ask them if they would rather be big, all of them say yes! ... well I don't think that's how it should work.... I've always been a little attracted to femdom ones (gentle femdom) ... it's a fetish czo if you ask me "do you wish you were dominant".. NO! I have a fetish coz that's what makes me feel good when i think about it, no part of it makes me sad................ Almost all of those with cuck and SPH (well, for SPH, I can use the word 'ALL') of them didn't have that, they acquired it.

Well, I was supposed to write this in a sad tone... but I dunno when I started to explain things and all.... nvm, I've vented my feelings.... anyone reads: good. Nobody reads: no problem coz am disposable anyways

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Betrayedbyasexaddict's picture
[12035]
May 22

First off... I know someone with micro and he is happily married. Some people don't consider that the only qualification. 2nd.. sex addiction has many levels and porn is one of them, so, yes, you picked the right one. There are good people on here that will understand you. And 3rd... you don't have to be from India, have what you consider a small package, or any of the other things listed to feel bad about yourself. Many of us are classified as normal but see something else when we look in the mirror. So, keep venting here... we get it.

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Wantsthelight's picture
[2760]
May 22

Not every woman wants bigger, I have a friend who doesn't care about having sex so would stay away I kept telling her find a guy with ed then no worries... she doesn't like big either its the different situation but there is light to each one... you can give pleasure as well as receive, I'm sure there is porn with small penis... head up learn to use hands mouth and penis you'll find that golden woman :-)

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[670]
May 23

There are porn with small ones... Yeah! I learnt about SPH through that just type small penis in search box and it will all be filled with humiliation videos or nor.al ones with disgusting comments, calling the guy "pathetic" or "loser".... I mean.... I don't understand how men are supposed to be stoic or ignorant of everything but... Looking at comments like "if I was that small, I would have committed suicide" or a number of YT videos where a guy run from girl to girl in a mall or a public place and you get to hear things like "eww" or a laughter when he talks about small ones or comments like "I would cheat on him"... Doesn't feels so good, trust me.

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