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Hi All. Really struggling here. I have a 4 year old and 1 ye

Hi All. Really struggling here. I have a 4 year old and 1 year old, both of which are a more than a handful. My life consists of waking up, rushing kids out the door, getting to work late, leaving early to pick up kids, dinner + screaming kids, bath + screaming kids, bedtime + screaming kids, clean up, clean up, clean up. I know this is all fairly typical, and everyone says "it's tough" but I'm really not handling it well. All I can think is that "there must be more to life."
I'm constantly tired, irritable, and angry. Every time my wife and I talk it's laced with frustration and passive-aggressiveness. My older one tells me over and over that she likes her mother better. My wife is constantly telling me all the things I do wrong.
I cope by doing things like saying I have to go to the bathroom, then not coming back for an hour. It just makes things worse.
I used to be a superstar at work, and got some sense of self satisfaction out of that. I have recently had to change jobs a couple times and now feel like I am sucking at work also.
Like I said, I know this is "normal" life with two young kids, but I am really not coping well. I feel like I can't do anything right and no one likes me. I hate the way I am behaving, then hate myself more for behaving this way. Don't know what to do...

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Dana15's picture
Feb 11

Is your wife working too?


Hi ThomsonLamp [10]
I can certainly relate to some of the stuff you’re going through especially the screaming. When my kids were young I started to read parenting books to get a grip on the situation and discovered that adjusting your attitude can do wonders. I also read a book called “Scream-Free Parenting” by Runkle. You may find it at As I learned to scream less at them, the less the kids screamed as well. Maybe you can also make arrangements with your wife such that one person drops off the kids while the other picks them up, even if not everyday. Have you considered whether your life is a little bit more focused on chores rather than building relationships with your kids and your wife, or enjoying time together. When we relaxed our parenting a little bit, things got so much better. I hope that helps.


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