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Hi, new here. Have COPD and I am feeling angry at what I hav

[300]

Hi, new here. Have COPD and I am feeling angry at what I have. I had a bad 'cold' for over a month, mid december to end of January, breathing better now but I was a mess even when my daughter and grandkids came to visit from the midwest for Christmas. It was awful coughing, worse than I have ever had, not being able to bring the sputum up. I keep on telling myself I will not get depressed or angry but I am beginning to see/feel some of that. Thinking of my own mortality brings me down. I am 64 and even my 91 yr old mom worries about me; she is so healthy! Why do I have this? I smoked when I was in college but I quit in 1980, for God's sake! No one in my family has any terrible diseases. I got rid of my doggie because doctor said no pet hair/dander is good for me. I keep my home pretty clean from dust and only use cleaners that are not strong in chemicals. I don't do much exercise, guilty. I am overweight, so those two I know are not helping me. I use the inhaler twice a day and have used the rescue inhaler only once when I felt panic from not being able to breathe well when I got stressed out. I was reluctant to join any group because it saddened me reading all you go through, well, I am one of you and I admit it now, no more denial. I will get the vitamin D you have recommended to others and the cod liver oil. Anything else that can help?

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[300]
Feb 27

@mechele Well, that sure is a snoopy, b&%$#y woman you have as a neighbor! Good grief!!
I understand the situation a lot better now. Weird that she never gave you an answer as to why she chopped the bush or why she has the need to be looking into your backyard! That would drive me nuts! Please paint a middle finger for me on the side she will look at every morning. Ha!
So, I decided I could not wait any longer for the loquat leaves to dry more, I think they were ready to make them tea. It's been quite dry here lately, anyhow, my reader shows humidity inside is in the high 30's % and you told me it should be between 40 and 50 %
My hands are dry and I am putting lotion on the all day long.
So, I boiled the leaves in my new glass kettle and voilá I drank it. It may have been like 10 oz what I had and I put a little honey in it, but I will see about the cloves or mint leaves. It's a mellow taste but enjoyable as a tea. I have lots of leaves and I cut them from the branches I was given and put them in a large bag.
Good night and have a great week!

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[300]
Mar 3

I had a few 'down' days, kind of moody but today was better and I'm trying to lift myself up. I have been decluttering and organizing my life/home for a few months now and I now look around and realize I still have piles of papers to file or throw away, drawers filled with odd and ends, clothes/shoes that I chose to keep but I really don't wear and I became a bit frustrated and concluded that this will not end, there will always be something to work on inside my home. I have had the time to work on it but have not had the strength and energy or willingness, that's where I started to feel depressed... I want a clean house but it is so hard!
Also been feeling lonely and fantasizing about meeting a nice guy just for companionship/friendship... I do that once in a while but then it passes... Hope this passes soon, LOL!

Just needed to vent about that. I'll be fine, just need time... and energy...

How is everyone else doing?

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mechele's picture
[144095]
Mar 4

@Alexph hey sweetie! So sorry I haven't been around... my gosh, we have been going and going and going!
I can feel your desire to have and keep and clean home...dotn want it so much that it overwhelms you. Make a weekly gaol of what you want to accomplish that week and work it like you would a job. Start every day at the same time and o my work on it a set amount of them each day then go do other things. Of course there is always going to be something to work on in your home, but it doesnt have to consume you. Only tackle one junk drawer a day! Dump it into a shoe box (or bigger if you need) and only put back in the drawer what fits loosely...no piling. Use organizer trays so you don't end up overfilling the drawer.
I am a very neat freak, very organized person and clutter of any kind makes me nervous, anxious and like I can't concentrate. Im quite sure I have some borderline ocd. My no the was a hoarder and had unfinished projects all over the house when I was growing up...I hated it and it made me feel like I couldn't invite anyone over. I love having a neat, clean organized hpuse...no matter who or when someone stops by, I never have to worry what the bathroom looks like! Lol
Sending some extra energy your way! Loads of hugs too! Hope your week is a great one!

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