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Hello all, this is my first time and first post here. For th

PurpleIris40's picture
[40]

Hello all, this is my first time and first post here. For the past year I’ve been in a “situationship” with a man who battles depression. I’ve been a caregiver to someone in some form all of my life and I realize that almost all of my relationships are codependent. When it comes to this man we no longer see each other in person, he doesn’t want to since he says being around me causes feelings that he can’t handle. He has asked me to move on because he can’t give me what I need and that it was impossible to love me when he didn’t love himself. Logically, I know that if someone says this, then yes I should move on. When I do, I feel like I’ve abandoned him but I feel like by staying around, as soon as he’s in a better place emotionally, he’ll be the one to move on. I hadn’t spoken to him much over the past 3 weeks and he reached out to check on me, I was cordial but didn’t say much. When I realized that he blocked me on social media (we weren’t following each other anyway) he said “I thought we weren’t talking about social media because it causes drama.” I was just curious about the extra step which would’ve been unnecessary if there was no connection between us. I personally feel that he did that so he wouldn’t see me, on the posts of mutual friends. I feel drained after our conversation yesterday, as I usually tend to feel when we interact, yet it’s hard to let go. I really need advice on detaching as someone who is used to codependency.

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CKBlossom's picture
[439255]
Nov 8

I think that being codependent often comes from being unable to be alone. He has done you a favor, find out who you are alone, don't rush into another relationship, who are you and what do you want is what you should be looking to figure out.

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