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His brother said," no offense but dont you think you're maki

Blueberries1234's picture
[31330]

His brother said," no offense but dont you think you're making things worse? He obviously loves you. Thats why he's telling you all this. He wants your attention." I told his brother that he's thinking of suicide, and his brother is with him. I told him to make sure he goes to hospital by tonight. I spent a couple hours on chat qith my ex trying to give him some counseling to make him hold on. I cant tell. He is suicidal but he said that the only thing he wants is to be with me etc. And I said well if you are dead we cant be together. So I shiuldnt have said that. I dont want to give him false hope. But it's so f ed up. How do yiu get someone yo stay alive long enough to get their family member to drive to them? I said what I had to but I didn not get back together thank god. I refuse to LIE. I just want him to be fine, but Im dating someone else. I just felt insanely torn because I didnt want to push him over the edge and give up on life. I did point out that he needs to live for himself not for me. Just too much. So much anxiety. Im still shaking. I cried and stuff a lot. I was really calm but once I knew his brother was with him I broke down and cried like hell. I understand his feelings and theyre real but omg Im so ...exhausted. I feel selfish, that I didnt offer to be back together when someone is supposedly ready to die for me. Why did I feel indifferent? Maybe because I dont want to ge in that relationship where Im his counselor. It is his choice to kill himself and not seek help. I offered so many crisis lines and his brother is willing to pay for counseling....Im just exhausted. There are a lot of people who care abiut him and I know that it doesnt feel that way right now for him... Im justifying myself in this post before I get attacked. I know I did EVERYTHING I could to help and even more. I cant anymore. someone please take over. Im STILL expecting emails from him. I dont know if it qould be the right thing to do to send him one email that says we cant be together and I care abiut you thats why I told your brother. I think at this point it's fine if he thinks Im the badguy. If it helps him get over me faster thats good right? But then i also wonder if that would make him even more isolated. He said that Im the ONLY one who understands him.

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[95]
Oct 10

Wow, I'm so sorry you're in the middle of this. I can imagine the stress is excruciating right now. This type of "love" he has for you is not healthy and not love. It sounds as though you have done all that you can without getting involved with him again. You being with him isn't going to change the deeper issue he has going on, @froggymom is right. It may be wise to send the email to not only him, but the brother also and communicate that you cannot be his savior;because you just can't. You've given resources and done what you can. I'm sorry, this must be so hard for you. How are you today?

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Blueberries1234's picture
[31330]
Oct 10

@froggymom I dont think I deserve antthing, he is doing a lot better. As soon as I said that, like he managed to start exercising and eating better and seems to be more focused on self care and self validation .... He has been challenging his thougts. Im really happy for him! Ince then ive realized how I have a low self esteem too. I think we both basically depend on eachother... and we were both hurting eachothwr. Maybe he wasnt a narcissist after all. who knows. but i know the dynamic between us isnt healthy unless we arent together.

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[810]
Oct 11

You have been given the gift of life so you do deserve to be happy and whole. The thing is that we have to work at it. I'm glad he is doing better, and I hope he continues to progress. You still have to do what is good for you and make changes that will lead to your healing and happiness. I continue to pray for you.

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