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Do You Know What It’s Like To Live With The Thoughts?

Ak21's picture
[3305]

Do You Know What It’s Like To Live With The Thoughts?

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Advocatus-Diaboli's picture
[3065]
Feb 1

@J9550550 With time and distance the racing thoughts will dissipate. You will not notice this on a day to day basis however. Progress is measured in months and it will be back and forth but there will be forward progress. Narc proof your life as much as possible. Destroy any momentous, photos etc of the narc. BLOCK on social media. If you cannot resist peeking then delete your account. You need to break the addiction and it really needs to be dealt with as both an addiction and a major trauma. The addiction will cure itself with rigorous no contact (or grey rock if you are married or have kids with the narc) and time. The trauma is what your mind is now processing. When you have a flashbacks welcome it. Acknowledge it and allow yourself to feel what you need to. Then let it go. This is the healing process and although painful and ugly you will emerge from the other end of this dark tunnel a transformed human being. I quit sleeping for months them 4 hours every other night this went on for a good year. The length that recover takes seems to be related to time of exposure. I was with a very sick and sadistic malignant narc for 4 years so my recovery has taken 2 years and I am still not fully there. I would say 95% healed at this point. Everyone is different. Read all that you can about the disorder, watch videos, share in the forums, take good care of yourself, try to keep busy, exercise. NO CONTACT! :)

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[5485]
Feb 1

I feel ya, the longer no contact the more clear it becomes. It's sad really, she will never find happiness it peace for that matter. It's completely clear to me now, doesn't make it that much easier, I still don't want her hurt, but she is incapable if looking at herself, she won't do it. It's a shame. Because there's a caring person under her mask I think, but it's not worth the torment to find out. I truley believe these people are beyond help. They will never have the empathy we develope as children, just won't happen, it's not their fault, they didn't pick the hand they were dealt. All I can do is worry about myself and hope she will be one if the ones that finally gets "it"

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[1815]
Feb 1

@Advocatus-Diaboli thank you. Has been a rough couple of days but am finding comfort that you mention that the racing thoughts will dissipate not only for me but for us all. Thankfully we were not married and no kids so I do not have to deal with any of those difficult circumstances. Will take note to deal with this as an addiction and trauma. It is still fresh. I have not seen him in two months and no contact for some time now. He has tried and there is no chance he will be able to contact me unless he shows up at my home, which has security so not worried. I agree to allow the flashbacks, it is just completely overwhelming at times. It was two years of with a malignant, sadistic as well with a new drug problem, and it is something heavy, not sure which substance. I am now trying to take care of myself or learn how. I appreciate all that you post, was able to read a couple of books you put up. They were very helpful. I guess I always knew something was wrong and why I was drawn to abusive people, my parents of course. I just never put everything together. So maybe this last narc was a blessing in a sense for me to wake up.

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