Life theme of an Empath: Why do I try to help people? 1.Avoi
Life theme of an Empath: Why do I try to help people? 1.Avoid stress. 2. Heal myself by offering solutions to others with the same problems---a lack of ability to face ny own issues directly---a kind of trauma defense mechanism? 3.Isn't this trauma defence mechanism similar to that of narcissists, who ALSO cannot look at their own trauma? So the empath has an adaptation response to not be able to access their trauma in a way, by accessing it by proxy-helping people with similar issues. I find patterns in survivors of narcissism abuse, and I realize we have similar vulnerabilities----this inability to STOP HELPING, FIXING, CARING.... It goes so deep. For a while I completely stopped commenting, and this served an important role to help me break the habit of impulsively responding and trying to rescue others---which comes from a place of superiority but also a way to escape myself and the feeling of stress. I think a lot of parentified kids become empaths. And, if we dont look at this habit and burn out, an empath can become a "dark empath" an actual psychological term to describe empaths who behave like narcissists. There's so much nuance, and even reading about narcissism obsessively is a phase of healing but ALSO holds sometimes the retrauma of living through the things we went through. I believe in all of you. All of this was triggered, because recently I developed a crush on a guy, who is of course inaccessible to me ---abother pattern in my life----keeping myself safe by liking people I can never really get close to (he is a semi-prof; much older; others lived at a far distance, or would no doubt be returning to their coubtry of origin). So to avoid thinking about this guy, I came onto this website to focus on other people's issues. So Im sorry for constantly commentingon people's posts, helpful or annoying or self righteous---know it is a form of self escape and my trauma response; Sorry.
33
View 30 More Comments

(28685)
Apr 4@Blueberries1234 I spend a lot of time with just myself rt now and it's starting to wear a bit thin resulting in a sort of 'hiccup' to my recovery...stepping back unexpectedly which I end up berating myself more than I should have. I'm pretty bad at asking for help but when I do ask it has felt awkward by the one I asked so....??
It also means I have NOT been doing much 'self-care' and it shows. I have a huge event coming up on my sched and the stress of early 'freak out mode' is threatening to overtake me...Hopefully I can combat it and do a lot of deep breathing and important walking.
I am trying to focus on Spring showing up soon, one of my favorite times of the year...so open to renewal, change with important recovery. Crossing my fingers...
Sending you good vibes to overcome anything that shouldn't be throwing your focus rt now....

(68620)
Apr 4@Littlesis7. lol you just called me out, focus is spent today, oh the deadlines deadlines deadlinessss! It's a bit stressful, but in your case, I hope you do make time for self care in the middle of it :) I believe in you! And if it's a scheduled event, usually things just flow ans as things happen, they will happen and all will get done and go well. :) Just slow down and it will get done more efficiently!! High five!!

(28685)
Apr 5@Blueberries1234 thanks so much, I have to slow down -you're right this thing will come and go, life will go on. Best of luck w all your deadlines!