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The biggest mistake I made was try to show proof to those wh

The biggest mistake I made was try to show proof to those who are supporting the narc. It was like going back a full month in recovery...injured all over again! The pain is just as bad as the narc's pain :(

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[2105]
Jan 14

@ParisVacay. Oh yes. I'm going to stick to "it's just not working anymore" when I finally get free.

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[6295]
Jan 22

I completely relate. I have the same issues with my family of origin. While I really want them to understand certain things, they just can't. They are where they are, and I have to accept that. But also, I had to realize how much I wanted and needed their support. It was/is sad for me to not get it from them. And so, I realize that I have to get it elsewhere. There are people out there who do get it. I am so grateful to be finding them. It is like a gift I give to myself :-)

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[10810]
Jan 22

I don't try to explain or prove anything and have learned to validate my own experience, as @Blueberries said above. Thank God, I found this support group because this is where it has all been "pouring" out which really was a "LIFELINE".

Some of what I have said to trusted/close friends is, it didn't work out for me, it wasn't in my best interest, we had differences that we could not settle, we had problems resolving disputes and just had too many disputes to carry on.

If people demonstrate an understanding of these types of relationships then I may give them a bit more of my story but I have never said he is a narcissist or tried to explain narcissism.

@StreaksDakAngel made a very good point about friends. I realised that I had attracted selfish, needy friends also, so as I began to change and look for support and give less, the whole dynamic with them changed. Now, my boundary is a very brief period of renegotiating the friendship, if that doesn't work I go no contact. That way my time can be spent on relationships that actually are beneficial to both of us as friends.

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