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Read this on Pinterest and got defensive but then started to

Read this on Pinterest and got defensive but then started to think long and hard and got kind of sad...any opinions about this?

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Foundlove's picture
Nov 8

For me... right on the money! Check to all of the above... definitely I was wrong in thinking I needed someone to love me to feel happy and I was miserable. I was willing to overlook a lot of abuse just bc of the lies that he would dish out n the slightest hint that maybe he cared or loved me. I was abused as kid, neglected... all that affected me major unfortunately. I’m still trying to figure out how to be fine with everything. I can see my friends around me also have unhealthy views on relationships.... terribly common actually for abuse to occur in relationships. It’s sad.

Blueberries1234's picture
Nov 8

Youve been conditioned to put your emotional and physical needs aside, youve learned to empathize and see the other person's perspective to avoid pain, reduce pain in duration and quantity. So you give as a fear defense mechanism, as well as to find worth and feel the illusion of peace, all the while being on alert by looking for emotional cues of distress in others as an automatic response. We need to learn NOT to give. We instead need to learn to turn inwards and check in with ourselves when we want to help others. Im literally writing this bexause I am bored, because I have no other identity besides trying to help fix problem self, get ego satisfaction and worth by seeming like Ive "Helped" otherwise my life feels useless. Again, conditioning. Super aware Im doing it. And yet here I am, doing it. Inception.

mmadlecl's picture
Nov 9

I think this is true to some extent. But mostly everyone wants someone to share their life with. It's human nature. This does apply to my upbringing; it was unloving and toxic. But I'm the type of person who is a bit extreme, a bit of a perfectionist, not a quitter until there is plenty of reason, It makes sense that I would fall for a narcissist and a covert one. I am a quieter person. He seemed so much like me. He pointed out all of the things we had in common.


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