So now that me and my husband are taking some time apart I'v

So now that me and my husband are taking some time apart I've been thinking alot about reaching out to people i havent been able to speak with for a while. There is this one guy in particular that I've known since high school. I'm not allowed to speak with him per my husbands request because of these emotions i have for this particular man. Is it selfish for me to want to speak with this man? If i stay with my husband its not fair to him to start up contact again and especially not fair for the other guy if i stop talking to him because me and my husband stay together. He was one of my best friends before my husband found out about the emotions. But the other guy also has a girlfriend...i think im being selfish. It never seems like the right time but i am incapable of stopping thinking about him. Thoughts???

View 5 More Comments
Dec 7

Please don't read this the wrong way, as I mean it with total sincerity. I agree with Scat. This is coming from a guy with an absolute unbiased opinion, not from a woman scorn or a man with an agenda. If you seek only a mutual friendship then I say go for it. If you want something else, think about the implications, you haven't spoken to him in 4 years so I assume him loving you is a moot point as mentioned by another poster here. Where will it lead? Are you prepared for the outcome if he want's a relationship? What about his girlfriend? Could you sleep well at night if you came on here and read a post about a woman's boyfriend who left her for another woman he hasn't talked to in 4 years?
All points to ponder. Here's a little gem that was sent to me, I'll reverse the gender noun in the sentence and type it verbatim. "Do us guys a favor and stay single until you figure out what you want to do" And with that I'll leave you with a little wisdom the grail knight told Indiana Jones "Choose wisely"

show more ⇓
Dec 7

@Damagelnc all very good points. But i definitely only want to connect as friends. I respect him and his girlfriend enough not to do that to either of them. But you are correct. Im not sure how i would feel if we reconnected and wanted a relationship since all i want is to just be friendly again. I certainly know what i want from my next relationship but i need to find myself again outside of my marriage and a man.

Dec 16

If you and your husband are estranged, I do not see where he has the right to tell you who to talk to or not. How long have you two been taking a break? Are there any females you demand he not talk to? I hope everything works out for you and your husband, but from the short posting, you may want to consider a life without your husband. Life is to short not to be happy, and you and your husband both deserve to be happy.


Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account