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So my husband and i spoke today about how we were both feeli

So my husband and i spoke today about how we were both feeling. We are both confused...not 100% sure what we want.

Is it crazy for me to drag it out? He thinks we should still stay married but live separate lives. Does that mean we can date? If thats the case i would just rather get the divorce.

I am just entirely confused. He said if we decided to divorce he wanted it to be a mutual decision. Then asked if i wanted one and if i did he could take it because he was a "big boy". Sounds to me like he wants one but he wants me to be the one who actually says it...thoughts?

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dtay's picture
[8775]
Dec 13

@kelly72 Thanks for that. I can see his MO, but he is so cold and calculating no emotion at all and then when I keep giving him chances there's no change. I will drop the emotional stuff now because it's useless. I can see that he genuinely doesn't 'get it' and when I tell him it's not a marriage he just looks at me as though I'm the one with the problem. I'm going to see a lawyer on Friday.

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kelly72's picture
[51425]
Dec 13

@dtay You're so right and he looks at you as you are the problem because he doesn't have a single clue of what a real relationship or even real love feels like. As long as the marriage was about him I'm sure it was sufficient. Good luck with your attorney. Brighter days are ahead for you!

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dtay's picture
[8775]
Dec 14

Thank you Kelly, I've just got back from work and am making an appointment asap. But it's such a roller-coaster. Some days it's 'take no ***** with me and then other days it's like 'I can't get out of bed today." Not only just the marriage being about him, but also the fact that I think he just can't stand the 'shame' as he sees it and the fact that family will be asking what happened. If any of them dare to ask me then I will tell them very nicely without bitterness what a self centred tool he is. (sorry for the French)

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