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I am in the process of healing my co-dependency. I have not

I am in the process of healing my co-dependency. I have not told my SO that I am doing this. I know that he can tell something is up because he's been acting very attentive lately and it is so weird and unnatural. Eventually, I want to leave him but now his stepmother is dying, his mother fell down some stairs andjust got out of rehab after 6 months. His family is going through all sort of drama. I feel bad but I know that I can't stay in a relationship with someone just because I feel sorry for them. Now how do I bring this subject up?

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Feb 17, 2018

@CKBlossom Valid point. In order to heal, we have to be strong and take charge of our lives.

kelly72's picture
Feb 18, 2018

There is no perfect time to leave a narc but the best time is ASAP. The longer you stay the less of you there is to save. Go while you have the strength. His family drama is not your fault and I don't mean that coldly. Save yourself. CKBlossom is right, you must leave to heal. NO Contact highly recommended.

NowImNarcFree's picture
Feb 18, 2018

I agree with @Kelly72. My narc ALWAYS had some drama that supposedly excused his behavior. Over and over, I helped him get through the latest crisis and change his circumstances. But he'd just find a new problem to obsess over. The distance is really important to beginning to recover. I couldn't see how abusive he was or even really hear my own thoughts and feelings clearly until I got out. The gaslighting and verbal attacks were too bad.


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