This week's Brilliant New Topic: Happy Tears, Sad Tears, Tears abound in 2020!

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Hi everyone. If only one of you could instantly help me.

Hi everyone.

If only one of you could instantly help me. Instantly take my pain away. I'm tired of fighting.

I do my best to be better everyday. Every day I read books, self assess myself, monitor my thoughts, think positive, listen 24/7 to affirmations, sport. I have been doing it for more than a year since my divorce. And I have grown. But not enough.

My ex-husband is a narcissist. Been mental abused so long. We have little kids together, co-parenting is hard. He keeps trying to hurt me by trying all his dates in my face. Or choosing women before his kids. It seems that he sucked all my energy dry during our relationship and when he didn't have anything more that benefitted him, he walked away. From a relationship I worked so hard on. I wanted a whole family so bad. I did everything, changed my ways and mature more. Nothing was enough. And I know it is for the better now. He walked away so effortlessly and emotionless, that it hurts.

He went partying. Got more friends. Got beautiful girls. And I am stuck here working on myself, not settling for less in men, trying to be the best mom, focussing on my carreer. And it seems that he won. He got his passions. And my passion of a family I don't have. I am so lonely. I don't even have a support group of friends or family.

Normally I don't even vent like this. I know I am really pathetic now. And if I stay in this mood law of attraction just gives me more.

.. but I am tired. I have this pit in my stomach and urge to cry. I just want a loving hug.

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View 28 More Comments
Oct 3

@Anewbeginning THANKS yes tough times, but we all HAVE THOSE, EH ? I am trying so hard.......appreciateyour input......Are you ok ?

Oct 3

Maybe find a place and time to cry and just let it all flow out of you. I know this sounds strange, but when my Dad died, I couldn't cry. I knew it was inside somewhere trying to get out, but I was pushing it down, afraid to let it out. When I finally did, when I allowed myself to fully experience the depth of that sorrow without trying to stop it, I came out the other side a different person. After that, I found that for some reason, whenever I experienced laughter or joy, those emotions were more intense. As if descending into the depth of pain somehow made it possible to also experience greater joy. I think that when we resist things, we can never be free of them. I don't have a support group of friends or family either. Sometimes the loneliness becomes almost unbearable combined with anxiety. I don't have the answer. I wish I did then I could give it to everyone here. All we can do is participate in a positive manner and hope it does some good. Too bad there is not some way for people on this forum to connect via email or something more private.

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beth65's picture
Oct 3

@xyzzy if you support each other you can communicate.


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