Newest Blog is out, Support is Necessary!!!
Make sure to click READ MORE to see the full article. -SG
https://www.supportgroups.com/blog/support-is-necessary or click BLOG on the GREEN menu bar

I've been MIA for a while since I couldn't get myself to eve

I've been MIA for a while since I couldn't get myself to even write here. This Friday it is 2 months of no contact with my Narc and I've been feeling terrible.

I don't actually miss him at all, I'm just anxious, unmotivated and can't sleep (nightmares and keep waking up during the night). Lately I had to take 3 days sick leave from work because my depressive state was causing me to become suicidal. I just couldn't put my finger on what was wrong but I think I got it, please "hear me out":

When I told my narc to leave my house 2 months ago, I didn't allow myself to feel the loneliness and fear that was inside me. I kept telling myself I was okay, I kept busy with friends and work but I was feeling more anxious every day. I had nightmares every night with "no reason" (I was feeling fine-ish during the day) until this feeling somehow snowballed. I blamed my job for my increasing nervousness and unhappiness. I blamed anything and everything just not to look within. These last few days I've been crying for no reason. I've been unable to eat and function "properly". My body has been telling me to look inside, that the answer is in me. And you know what I found? That I just feel really lonely. Broken. I feel really scared. I feel unworthy and all these feelings won't just go away if I keep busy or pretend I am fine.

So I guess this is the reason why I've been feeling like crap lately. What do you guys think? Did anyone feel this way on their journey to healing?

show more ⇓
Comment
 18
View 15 More Comments
Lesknil's picture
[5950]
Jun 11

@NamelessShe Hugs! How are you dear??

Reply
[1895]
Jun 11

After the initial shock wore off, the next two months I felt a sense of relief. It is only now, the third month that I am beginning to deal with the sadness and the fact that the whole 15 years was nothing but a horrific farce. Red flags from the beginning. It is hard, but each day brings us closer to peace and happiness. He is someone else's nightmare now. God help her.

Reply
Lesknil's picture
[5950]
Jun 11

@susan4620 Stay strong dear. We can do it!

Reply

Login or Register

You are visiting Support Groups as an anonymous user.

Please consider joining our community and gain access to additional features by

registering or logging into your account