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Married 40 yrs husband just diagnosed with dementia new ter

Married 40 yrs husband just diagnosed with dementia new territory thinking "one day at a time"...recognize the need to take care of myself as well! Any suggestions for my situation?

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Dec 4

Hey lovethatman. Thought at first I was reading about myself. I am so sorry you and your husband have found yourself starting this journey. As already mentioned, church family can be a big help during this time. (Often better than family). My husband was diagnosed 1 month prior to our 40th anniversary (last year) and it has been interesting and at times a bit scary. The best thing you can do for yourself is take care of you. Be willing to ask others for help, and be sure to let them! It is amazing how willing people are to help when they know the need. The article listed by kvolm is an awesome resource. I encourage you to look it up. As you pray for healing, also asking the Father for patience and compassion for yourself. As your husband slowly changes you will find yourself growing frustrated. When that happens I offer up a quick reminder prayer to God to help me! And He does! Have you looked into caregiver support groups for yourself? They often have a lot of good insights and ideas. Keep in mind you are not walking this journey alone. There are a lot of resources for you and of course, God is with you every step of the way. Feel free to contact me if you need help or just a boost to your spirit. God Bless.

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jim111's picture
Dec 4

40 years? God Bless you both!

Yes, one day at a time is right.
You'll need a reliable sitter, part time caretaker for when you go to the store, bank or wherever. Maybe not now, but later. You'll need to Think hard on what you'll do to or want to do, when you need a 5 minute or 60 minute break. Take a quick walk, sit outside. Or make phone calls... just to hear another voice others than yours and your husbands.
And have your camera ready. For those wonderful fleeting moments when you and he are in perfect harmony. When friends and family stop by and there's nothing but smiles.
I was the only one that took pictures and VIDEOS of loved ones at the end. Later.... I posted them so everyone could have a copy of those last few good times.

Even the best and most calmest person in the world, can feel overwhelmed by taking care of someone day in and day out. Never be afraid to ask for help. And remember to think of yourself too. You will still need enjoyable moments. Whether to sit in the sun or read a book or eat a half a cheese cake. But do something for yourself.
I tend to watch a good comedy.

Good luck, God Bless...... And a BIG HUG to you!

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Dec 5

It can be hard sometimes, but my mother had it. Just keep in mind that dementia is different from Alzheimer's. Although both are brain activity related totally different. My mother had dementia for 10 years before she passed from a stroke. The short term is what takes the hit. But man we had some good times with her even with the dementia. We, did basically the same things that she was use to, except we had to manage meds after about 2 years, then the financing. It wasn't until her last 3 years she needed someone there with her. She still was mobile and could dress her self knew us all (7 kids) eat by herself. She was not a hard patient to care for. She did get to the point night time worried her, and her needing to be with me all the time, so I would just load her up and we would go. We must have had the same conversion 15 times in one day over and over. So, what, I am sure when I was little she heard all the babbling we had to say as kids. Loved her to the moon and back. Just hold, and laugh as much as possible. One thing, please put a power of attorney on everything, do it now while he is not bad, if they think he can't answer for himself you have to take a different route. You will find that with out that you can not in most cases have a say in a lot of thing. Finances, property, health care, disability which by the way if he doesn't have it now start it. Keep in mind that you will have to wait 24 moths to receive Medicare once he is approved. So, plan on having some kind of insurance. Wishing you the best, I know I know how overwhelming it seems. But let people in that know how to help. Lean on as many that you can. Beginning tough lot of paper work to do. Middle not so bad. Ending a little worse. But would not have had it any other way. Good luck.

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