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Hello. I'm not sure what I expect from this site. I guess

Hello. I'm not sure what I expect from this site. I guess I'm looking to vent, or to hear that I am not the only one feeling like I do. I am a sole caregiver for my mother. It's a 24/7 job and I am not only exhausted, I feel frustrated, angry and guilty! I have been reading about caregivers and people that tell me how it is a blessing to have the opportunity to care for my mother, but that's definitely not how I feel, which makes me feel like a bad person. I love her but I'm tired and honestly hate what my life has become. I've lost my friends, and can't afford a caregiver to get away for more than 2 or three hours. A vacation is out of the question. I don't even sleep well at night because she wakes up confused, short of breath, of just needs reassurance that she's not alone. It's always something! She has incontinence, so I can't send her to an adult daycare, even in pull ups. It's a mess. She's very picky about what she eats. And the medication regiment is non-stop all day. I've been doing this for four years now. I don't know what my breaking point is, but I just can't send her to a home yet. Maybe when and if she becomes totally senile. Right now she's just very forgetful but know whats going on and can carry a conversation. One blessing I have is my very loving boyfriend, but the poor guy is being shortchanged living in this situation. Another thing to feel guilty about. Thanks for allowing me to post my thoughts and feelings anonymously.

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[215]
Oct 10

@bebobaBetty Her incontinence is due to bad intestine function and apparently her muscles are no longer strong enough to hold until reaching a bathroom. I've taken her to at least three different gastro Dr's. They all say nothing can be done. They chuck it to her age. Same with the Neuro, Eye Dr., ENT, etc. Sometimes I wonder if that's what Dr's do; brush you off because of your age. This is in the U.S. Maybe I should relocate to Australia. LOL The grass seems greener there!

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Anella's picture
[12010]
Oct 10

@dravino My pleasure. My goal is to encourage and comfort. We all need it from time to time. One of my favorite Bible verses is "Praised be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of tender mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our trials so that we may be able to comfort others in any sort of trial with the comfort that we receive from God." 2 Corinthians 1:3, 4 I am thankful to be on the receiving and on the giving end at different times in my life. Please keep in touch and let me know how you are doing.

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[660]
Oct 12

I'm sorry you are going through this. It is really hard taking care of a loved one on your own. Does you mom have health insurance? Have you thought about calling the health insurance company to see if home health care visits are covered? Sometimes insurance will cover someone coming to the home to care for your mother. This way, you can get a break. Have you considered asking a family member or friend to sit with your mother? Having a break will help you to regain yourself. You are doing a wonderful job and I know your mom is appreciative. Have you thought about trying a rest home for a few days. Sometimes there are rest homes that will accept "patients" for a few days to give caregivers a break. Maybe consider looking into it. Wishing you the best.

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