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Good morning all! I'm new to the group and was reading throu

Good morning all! I'm new to the group and was reading through some of the posts. My dad is in what I would consider middle stages of dementia. But it's not clear because his days are so different from one to the next. I'm new to this world with him as he used to have a live in girlfriend (she left when he got sick and was hospitalized for a month and she was told there could not be alcohol in their lives any more) and she was not sharing what was going on with us at all. Because I lived in another state for the last 9 years I saw dad pretty infrequently. I feel like I'm mourning the loss of my old dad and trying to discover a life with this new dad. Has anyone else felt like this?

View 9 More Comments
Apr 18

Wow, "lights were on and nobody was home" is how i also described dementia. People I spoke to who didnt encounter it just didnt know what I meant.

zee4ward's picture
Apr 19

@bebobaBetty Yes it is like they are there, but not really there. At the end stages of my Aunt, I did not know what she knew or did not know. I believe she recognized us. But prior to her not speaking, she was introducing us as the wrong people. My Mother, God Bless her, spent so much time with her the last year. They were so close. For awhile she kept introducing me as a friend or her cousin from Pa. Alzheimer''s and dementia are so horrible. To watch our loved ones who once had a voice and a personality deteriorate like this is heartbreaking.

Apr 19

@zee4ward it really is hard to say what they know and don't. Thankfully my dad receives care through the VA and they have set us up with some neurological testing that will help us determine what his level of cognition is, what things he can understand and can't and what parts of his brain are seemingly the most affected at this point. I'm hoping that this will make caring for him easier and help him feel more independent. If I know what he is capable of doing and not doing we can work better together and he won't think I'm acting like his mother!


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