I'm feeling defeated. Went over a month without binging and

I'm feeling defeated. Went over a month without binging and purging. Got out of treatment this past Monday for my eating disorder and was going strong up until today. Got some bad news and I felt the only thing there for me was food. Once I made the decision to give in to my urges it spun out of control. I feel helpless and weak. I don't want to go back to throwing up everyday, I just can't. I've made too much progress. But I have nothing, nobody but food. I came onto this website and made an account because I'm so lonely and I need people that understand. I'm currently living in sober living with about 10 other girls that know about my bulimia. I'm sneaking around grabbing food and putting it in my pockets, making sure they don't see me. I hate this. If anyone has any feedback please don't hold back.

CKBlossom's picture
Feb 14, 2017

We all fall off the wagon, but it is up to you to use the tools you have been given in treatment and employ them during this time of need. You can do this. Hugs and welcome!

Feb 16, 2017

I just joined here too after also feeling defeated. I felt like I needed somewhere to vent to or see that other people are suffering with this awful illness and it's not just me in this world with it. I think that is what's making me feel crazy, like no one understands. The urges are so strong and it seems easier to give up than to fight it but you have done amazing so far and it's a little bump in the road. I believe in you

Maria40m's picture
Feb 16, 2017

I get you ...I've been like that for well over 20 years.. But what I can comfort you with.. is that it does get less frequent.. you never fully get over your eating disorder but the setbacks become less frequent and not as severe .. it's a time thing but difficult situations triggers these episodes.. learn your triggers and it will become easier ( easier said than done)
My triggers were and are lack of control.. when I feel not In control I starve myself go into depression then binge eat.. it's a cycle which does get easier with time and effort.. sent with love because you're worth it x


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