I am a very young at heart 52 year old female and have been

I am a very young at heart 52 year old female and have been bulimic for the past 34 years. When I was younger, I always thought, I don"t need help, I can quit whenever I want...that is such a fantasy and completely false. I still struggle every single day...there are no face to face support groups here in my area, as I live about 30 miles south of Seattle and just cannot make it to the city...I understand that we should do whatever it takes, but I also have to think and realize my limitations. So here I am, hoping to find other middle aged women that struggle with the very thing. Besides my regular job, mon-fri, the only thing I do is come home, binge and purge and isolate...on the weekends, I don't get out of my lounge clothes. To all the younger girls out there, get help as soon as you can...no one will wave the obligatory wand and 'ping', you're ok. I am afraid I will die with my head in the toilet, alone. I am by myself with my 15 year old son and it has been another full time job to keep this hidden from him. All my family is in Europe and I have been living here in the US by myself. This disease keeps me lonely and alone. I choose to not have friends. The thing is, this emotional axe has chopped me down to pieces and I am severely depressed. I am glad I can put the 'normal' face on when the weekend is over and it is time to go to work on monday...and it is not like i cannot keep anything down. I eat normal during the day and then eat and release in the evening...I never imagined myself to be a career bulimic...

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CKBlossom's picture
[496370]
Nov 14
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[20]
Nov 19

Wow like me in everyway. I'm 54 an suffered anorexia/bulimia for 34yrs. I cope during the day once tea is eaten then I purge everyday. I'm broken an desperate for help to understand this craziness x

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shinyhan's picture
[3775]
Nov 20

Dear Seattlemon, it sounds like we have some shared experiences. I'm 54, I started dieting around 14 and had my first binge at 16. Purging and overexercising quickly followed. It has created so many identity issues , internal conflict, rotating bouts of hopeful effort & humiliating backslides. It has effected my dental health, relationships, memory & mental capabilities, career, love life EVERYTHING! Please feel free to message me privately here. I, too, would appreciate someone to cry, laugh, lean and support.

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