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Bulimia will kill me. I've always had hope that I could stop

[20]

Bulimia will kill me. I've always had hope that I could stop whenever I really wanted to, but that hope is diminishing after 5 years. Time and time again I choose it over true love, friendship, health, growth, education, work, and myself. I've lost almost all respect for myself, yet I just keep doing it. I can hardly ever go a day without an issue now. My skin and teeth are destroyed and I see my future disappearing. yet somehow amongst so many clear signs that my body isn't going to recover 100% ever if I don't stop now, I still behave as if it is not an issue at all. I almost pretend to myself after an episode is complete, that nothing is even really wrong and I can now go about my day as normal. I don't know who this person is anymore. I miss me.

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 2
Ceremony's picture
[940]
Mar 12

It will not. You are a warrior. Even if you don't feel like that YOU ARE. You're writting here and that is an important sign your real healthy and happy you is aware and alive. Calling for help. Asking for conection and advice. Follow that inner voice. Seek for more help wherever you are. It takes courage and you are brave. A big hug and good vibes.

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[450]
Mar 13

@1727 you are not alone, we are all here with you. Keep coming back and sharing your moments with us.

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