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I haven't posted for a while. I left the US to take a summer

I haven't posted for a while. I left the US to take a summer job in the Caribbean. While I was there I didn't think much about my eating disorder. I was always active, always tan, always eating with other people & didn't have time to worry about it. I never had the opportunity to binge or mope about my body.
But ever since I've been back I'm been in this awful state of either suppressing or fully succumbing to the intense PANIC I feel every time I look at my stomach. I ONLY see and feel the fat on my gut and sides. And I hate it. I literally can't see anything but that. And it's so silly. I shouldn't be worried about it. I exercise regularly, and even though I don't keep a super strict diet I know I eat pretty well. I just want to feel *good* with myself, as I am, right now. I hate this constant dissatisfaction when, outside of my own head, I look fine and I'm healthy.

How can I fix my relationship with my body?

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[490]
Sep 22

@GirlKitty I think that's exactly what I will do. I'm trying to find something out there that has meaning and occupies my time, and have already started to network and search for those opportunities. Thank you <3

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[490]
Sep 22

@ivanaguadalupe I appreciate the advice - I really haven't spent enough time cultivating self-love and acceptance, whether that's directed toward my body or any other part of my life.
While I think it's good for anyone to prioritize self-improvement, I think I've set my expectations really high. I want to be a better, fitter, prettier person, RIGHT NOW, and I don't give myself any time to get there.

Any more tips you have for achieving acceptance/love for your body are welcome :)

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[490]
Sep 22

@Soofi I can definitely relate -- I have those intense feelings of regret any time I indulge in something unhealthy. It definitely feels better to celebrate choosing a healthier option.

And you and @GirlKitty are both right about the volunteering -- it's an opportunity to work with people who prioritize helping others over themselves. These people are the role models I should seek.

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