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(this might trigger someone) Joined this support group forum

(this might trigger someone) Joined this support group forum but only posted in one group. Just came back to it because having a difficult time lately with my emotional outburst. Sometimes with family and other times inside my head because I don't want to start arguing with everyone. I know it has been getting worse as I am currently unemployed and have too much time to do nothing or nonsense things throughout the day. I have a house to declutter, but also have health issues and I will be cleaning and decluttering for a few days and then take a few days to do nothing because I am exhausted. My emotional yo-yo has my CBD(shopping addiction) triggered and makes me want to buy stuff that I know I don't need more of. I resist for days and sometimes weeks and then shop for a day. I then feel guilty and know I should have spent the money on bills and stuff.
I spiral down and become sad and hide out in my bedroom. Become a hermit for a few days, then I get a burst of energy and something switches and then I get all happy about plans or something we are about to do.
Right now I am at a low point, a lot of stuff going wrong with car, finding important documents in my room that I need to get employment, I hate feeling dependent on others to take care of bills and stuff without me contributing. I have always worked all my life and having to ask for money to buy household stuff even I hate to do. I feel like a failure right now. I am always tired too. Being an insomniac doesn't help either.

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[1260]
Dec 3

I am proud of you for writing and sharing this. Getting the word out to others, any way that you can helps. You say that you have always worked all your life... may I ask in what field? Is there any way you can take some minor small baby steps towards that part of you again? I understand those bursts of energy coming and going. Try to honor yourself and I'm proud of you - you're making it and have made it thus far. Life is so stressful, keep those people around who want to help you.

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Maria40m's picture
[15795]
Dec 4

Hi & welcome to the group... I too struggle with the shopping addiction which as got me in trouble many times... I think it’s a kind of feel good factor feeling we get because we are lacking on everything else lol ... I don’t know about you but I have to buy loads of 1 thing !! I too then feel guilty because the bills or repairs come in and I can not afford to pay from them it’s a crazy merry go round.... we borderlines are very independent so it must feel very difficult relying on others .... try to make a plan of action what you think would dig you out of this hole and start chipping away at it.... it does not matter how long it may take it is the planning which will give you sense of direction..

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