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This is my first time here. I don't know if it is the right

This is my first time here. I don't know if it is the right place to post. I'm a very lonely 44 year old woman. I'm married with a kid, but I have zero friends and family in the country where I live. All my family lives in another country where I'm from. But I'm not close to my family either. I love my aging parents very much, but they would not understand my situation if I told them, and I don't want to burden with my misery anyway. I feel hopeless and helpless at times. I also have BPD, which makes it hard to maintain friendships and relationships. My daughter is the only person that seems to love me and i love her more than anything else in this world. I try my best to be a good mom to her. My husband is a decent man. He cares for me, but I don't think he loves me. It's the same with me. I care for my husband. He's like a friend to me, but I love him more like a brother. We are in a sexless marriage for a long time, and the lack of intimacy also makes me very sad and I feel like there is no one that would understand me. I think about suicide a lot, but I never would carry through it. It would devastate and crush my daughter. I'm keeping myself alive only for my daughter's sake.

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Oct 16

I live in the US. Isolating and self care has diminished, but I’m not suicidal or homicidal. I know that a psych place will not help. I hope someone has a suggestion.
Thanks so much,

Oct 16

I am so frightened. I don’t belong in a psyche place. I’ve been depressed, but never wanting to hurt myself or others. Do I have any say here? I welcome suggestions. Thanks, Bevey..

RainbowChard's picture
Oct 20

@Bevey sometimes calling the local crisis line for referrals can give you some leads on good local care resources - quality affordable or free counseling, case management, agencies that provide DBT or other group support, and so on. You don't have to cope with this on your own. We're here, and there are other resources available to you, too. <3


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