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This is gonna be long winded and Im sorry. Figure if Im gon

nyerinwi's picture
[2710]

This is gonna be long winded and Im sorry. Figure if Im gonna get this dirty laundry out, why not to people who understand and have likely been in my shoes...so *deep breath* here we go and please be kind and gentle, some of this stuff is being mentioned for the very first time ever

I am a complete and total train wreck of a person right now. First off I have taken multiple tests and I score every time in the high end of BPD. I already have a severe anxiety/panic disorder, severe depression, and PTSD. Kinda figures this would come tagging along eventually. I am very wreckless with myself, and latch onto people nearly instantly because they arent my wife. She annoys the hell out of me (which Im hoping is my disorders talking and not reality), my 2 yr old son puts me into anxiety attacks when I cant get him to calm down or stop crying, I work 3rd shift and my sleep cycle is backwards from what it should be. My whole life is somewhat backwards from that. I dont sleep much. When I do its because exhaustion finally kicks in. My moods are very jumpy. I can be fine one moment and *snaps fingers* be like "Get the f*** away from me" the next. I have a hard time expressing and venting so it ends up just getting bottled up til the I guess volcanic explosion of anger. I am on meds, and I know I need to discuss this but I just want reassurance I am not going batshit crazy. Probably need a vacation away from all this but in reality employers are so stingy I may not get that til I retire in 30-40 someodd years. Theres plenty more but this is a good start. Good luck dissecting all this.

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nyerinwi's picture
[2710]
Mar 19

@DL678
I have heard of artificial sunlight but then the blinds are the kind that block light out. I walk a lot at work, and yes consistency is key. Im thinking Im just too stressed and overwhelmed by things

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[135]
Mar 19

@nyerinwi I also sometimes by these Sleep drinks from safeway/qfc they really do help fall asleep.

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nyerinwi's picture
[2710]
Mar 19

@DL678
Just got home from work. So exhausted my eyeballs are literally burning on fire. Dont think I will have an issue sleeping atleast right now. We will see

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