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The UP's & DOWN's of BPD.... I am tired, mentally drained

MissArya's picture
[790]

The UP's & DOWN's of BPD....

I am tired, mentally drained, but yet i am still trying, no matter what i keep hoping things would change :( just a few days ago i posted about how my boyfriend is being so kind and supportive etc..that hasn't changed, but i have...i spent the weekend with him and i am an introvert and i am very jealous especially when it come to other women but when i see that he always has to have a drink with his friends, like why cant we just have lunch and enjoy the time and go home why does he have to drink? he has never acted out or shown bad behavior when he drinks but i am wondering why? my dad is an alcoholic so maybe that triggers me? anyways he is so extroverted and so social and it kills me inside whenever we go out he is always running into people also females that are friends of his and it makes me sick honestly, i want to be with him , we are quiet happy together but how do i deal with this? he is just so out there, he is a people pleaser always looking to make others happy and be a clown in a group thinking he is entertaining others but i see it as a clown performing for others approval and validation like why does he do this honestly, why cant my company be enough and why cant we enjoy a day without alcohol? anyways i am always on this swing from optimism to pessimism and it never ends, each time i think things are going well something happens to make me think "what am i doing here if he is hurting me" argh i am drained guys :(

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[4120]
Dec 8

It did slow down and now has pretty much stopped. He was convinced I was just a jealous person. I had to have several talks with him over time and at times that he was in a good place emotionally. I wanted him to understand that the behavior was hurtful and why it was. Maybe make a plan of the days and times that belong to the two of you . It is time to deepen the relationship.

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MissArya's picture
[790]
Dec 9

@froggymom that's a great idea :) i only see him on weekends cos of the long distance, therefore i take it for granted that the weekends is "our time" but that doesn't seem to cross his mind....im glad things got better for you and that your partner heard you out :)

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[4120]
Dec 9

Try to help him understand. I will keep you in my prayers.

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