lately i feel not real again. I feel this acting part, this

Ivory's picture
[7475]

lately i feel not real again. I feel this acting part, this watching myself part.
Life feels heavy. But i don't know any good reason in my everyday life, why should it be like that.
I remember, that since i was little i had this thing- sometimes i was just looking at the sky and praying for god to finally pick me up, like- back again, to pick me home.
And now i feel this again.. that i want to be picked up. To feel relief.
i think this is why i feel detached..
Just don't know how to fight it?
Stress management ?
I can't afford therapy anymore so i don't really know whom to ask for advice

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Ivory's picture
[7475]
Nov 17

@kisobel It is difficult, because somehow i feel afraid of letting go that some pain inside me, because that - painful part is which i understand of myself. If i let go of it,how can i know who am i anymore.

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Ivory's picture
[7475]
Nov 17

@Ivory i just can't keep calm
and i am afraid if i will stay calm, all those thoughts which worry me will come into my head and i will have to deal with them :))) but i just want to get away and not deal with it.

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Ivory's picture
[7475]
Nov 17

@Ivory and when i try to be mindful i feel lonely.
i don't want to feel lonely.. sometimes it is better to be with busy mind or detached..
but i should try more i guess
it can only make things better...

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