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I've been thinking...do I want attention and simpathy or do

Pestisor's picture
[35440]

I've been thinking...do I want attention and simpathy or do I really want to get better.Just had a revelation.Somethimes I am really deaperate and I need help but somethimes maybe I am doing it for attention,beeing all like "poor me"...it's hard to take a honest look in the mirror but I need this,I need to face reality.Otherwise I tend to become delusional and to belive my own lies and to live in my own little world.It's crazy.I start to belive that a "tough love" kind of aproach is working better for me.That's what my therapist used to do in therapy,and I hated her for it first,but then I got better,saw she was right.I find it more helpfull to hear like "I love you,I care fo you,I am here for you,but now face reality and take responsability and get off your a$$ and get better".I feel like when I get the very understanding kind of support,even from my mother cause she does that somethimes,like the over indulgent kind of support,I feel that all I want is to keep going with the "oh poor me" and to keep stayng into that mindset of helplessness.Idk if I make any sense or not...For some people I seem tough and cold and harsh when I am offering the type of support that works for me...I suppose everibody is different..idk,I'm confused.

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Pestisor's picture
[35440]
May 29

@Aliceinwonderlannd I don't want any responsability,tbh I agree.A life without responsability is easier but it isn't as fulfilling.The easy pleasures of life that offer instant gratification are not worth it.That's why I want more from life,I want to get better and yet I am afraid...To say that I don't know the other way it's insulting.I do know it.I made huge changes in my life and trust me they **** took effort and it was hard,because then I was motivated.My issue is that idk what I want anymore...what I want in life...And what I would wish to have I am too fearfull to try to achive,like a family or such...

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Aliceinwonderlannd's picture
[5375]
May 29

@Pestisor maybe I expressed myself bad, didn't wanted to be insulting. I mean..when you do things in one way all your life..and there is the unknown..the future..the others streets you can take but you don't know than because you are just you all the time and you don't know how to be anybody else...
Not speaking about not even that you it s not clear enough for must of us...because we don't have that sense of identity...
Anyway, wanting to get better and fight for it it s amazing!

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Maria40m's picture
[10795]
May 30

I’m the complete opposite I’ve never had parents who told me they loved me or reassurance that everything's gonna be ok... I’ve only experienced tough love from my up bringing which as made it hard for me to do those normal things to my kids and hubby... tough love isn’t the way forward it screwed me big time...a caring calm loving approach especially from your parents is the key to a more stable life...Don’t mistake “ oh poor me “ for compassion. BPD is sad **** to deal with grab all the genuine support on offer.

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