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I have been in a relationship for about a year now. My girlf

I have been in a relationship for about a year now. My girlfriend has BPD, anxiety and severe depression that has caused her to attempt suicide few times. Her BPD has been bad and it affects me too because i keep thinking it's my fault but she just starts saying loads of things like 'you should break up with me, just leave me, you're not good, this isnt healthy, etc' and i know she doesnt mean it but i still take it to myself because it hurts. I don't know to how to help her or what to do in those situations, i always stay calm and say its ok i love you. After about 30 mins of me crying she realizes and come to hug me and say she is sorry and dont mean any of that and then starts to cry herself. I know deep down she doesnt mean but it still hurts because i still think she does mean it because she is so serious and emotionless. Anyway, my question is, what to do when this happens and what is the best way to help her? Please someone give me an advice, thank you.

kisobel's picture
Dec 6

Welcome to SG. Have you done any reading on the topic? I know some friends and family of BPD members have read the book "Walking on Eggshells", there is also a book called Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship by Shari Y. Manning (Author), Marsha M. Linehan (Foreword)
Also there is a group here on SG for Friends and Family of BPD that you might want to join. There aren't as many posts there, and you are always welcome to post here. Maybe someone here would like to weigh in on how to handle this situation with your girlfriend?


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