I had one friend left after putting everyone else through th

I had one friend left after putting everyone else through the ringer....including my family. This girl was my best friend and then I literally ruined everything. Shut down around her, became extremely self absorbed, and ended up doing something really bad. When I shut down around her I knew I was doing it, I saw what happened, and I wanted to come out of it but I never did. It was weird because that was the only relationship I had that there is an exact distinct moment where I switched from being fully engaged to literally a different person. I hoped this would never happen.. I hurt her and I'm still not even able to own it and apologize. I want to so bad but I just sit here helpless like always. This is where I'm at with everyone in my life.

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[1050]
Nov 15

@CKBlossom i have

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[1050]
Nov 15

@FemJay718 i don't have bpd just traits

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[1050]
Nov 15

@Princess21 i try but nothing replaces a real apology. And I can't give that right now because of the state I'm in and I don't have bpd just traits

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