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I feel very sad right now.. and i feel like im the only one

I feel very sad right now.. and i feel like im the only one who feels this way i guess, but ive just thought alot about how my family is so divided, and there has been so many .. Threats, emotional abuse, and just abuse in general, and it just cuts so deep that In one way im like.. Of course, I dont want to be around these people, and of course its not working, but at the same time I feel like .. Well I feel lonely and I feel like alot of things are coming up and its making me nauseaus, and i feel very friendless, i dont know if that sounds pathethic, but ive just found out that i really need a friend or someone close to me.. I just dont know how people do that, im so used to just leaving when things get rough, or yeah, that people just leave, or well I also leave, because it just gets too painful and the only way i know how to deal with it is to just leave and call it a day, i know its not .. helpfull, i just dont know any other way...

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[2670]
Feb 7

Well, it's so tough and I understand the complexity. You will always long for the love and togetherness of family. Even tho there was abuse and is many arguments, it is and will always be your family. There's the crux! So sorry you are lonely and wanting a close family. So many in your shoes, and wish for the good family they have seen around them. Altho, no family is perfect and many of those I thought had it all together and loved each other had their problems too. some are just better at hiding it. White washed fences. Look for your "family" in friends, reach out to groups thru meetups or such and find your tribe. Get involved in what you are passionate about and you will find people who are like you and do like you. <3

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Maria40m's picture
[10535]
Feb 8

Unfortunately we can’t choose are family and I bet the majority on here would agree that there can or are our biggest triggers.....you can find your own family through friends but it does take time and effort so stay strong because your time will come my friend.

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[1425]
Feb 11

It is very tough to stand firm and face what you perceive to be a threat. I know when I am around negative people, or if I feel hurt or betrayed, I just want to walk away from the person or the relationship. I have been behaving this way for years ever since I was a little girl and I didn't think there was anything wrong with it. If a person hurt me, I removed the person from my life or I avoided the person therefore avoiding future hurt. Now that I am older, I have realized this is not the best way to handle my issues or problems. Of course depending on the situation, you may have to remove some people from your life because they are too toxic to be in your life, however I'm finding that extending grace, forgiveness, and showing kindness despite whatever they have done to you and not expecting anything in return, is a much more humbling and gratifying experience. We aren't meant to be alone. We were designed to be in relationship with others. Relationships should bring out the best in you. Try to cultivate relationships with positive people. Since you can't really choose your family, you can limit the time you spend with them and when you are around them, you can be loving toward them even if you don't think they deserve it. In the end, you are taking the high road and you will feel much better. There are many ways to meet people and develop friendships. You can start with your hobbies and interests (gym, bookstores, biking, art, cooking classes, etc.). Don't rush the relationship. Let it develop naturally. Pay attention to your instincts. If something doesn't feel right, don't ignore this but realize friendships are not going to be problem free. You will have your share of problems but true friendships will stand the test of time do to a committment to the relationship and a willingness to love unconditionally. You can search a lifetime and only have a handful of true friends. Its worth taking the time to search out true friends.

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